


Possession

by doodlestrudel



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Indie Music RPF, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Alex is not a good guy, Alternate Universe, Bisexuality, Cheating, Control Issues, Crimes & Criminals, Dark fic, Death, Depression, Drinking, Drug Use, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Male Slash, Mental Instability, Miles has no idea what he's in for, Physical Abuse, Pretend they have accents, Psychological Torture, Sex, Slow Build, Stalking, Toxic Relationships, Violence, milex - Freeform, psychopathy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2018-07-29 03:14:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7668001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doodlestrudel/pseuds/doodlestrudel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>London, 1965: Twenty-three year old Miles Kane lives a life typical for someone his age; made of friends, parties, and naïvety. Yet that all changes one night when he stumbles across a charismatic character by the name of Alex.</p><p>What begins as a single night of careless fun soon turns into a life of fear- all because of a secret Alex keeps from everyone except for Miles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm back!!! This is a story I've been sitting on for almost a year now, it's gone through many tweaks and lots of planning. It's darker than anything else I've done, but is something I've been extremely excited to write. It's slow building, and the first chapter isn't overly exciting, I just needed to lay a foundation down for the rest of the story to pan out. It's based in the sixties, and I'll try my best to stay as accurate as I can with this. I'll be honest and say that I haven't found much on how Brits talked (slang and whatnot) during that time, and so that will probably be pretty inaccurate. I felt like focusing on the deeper aspects of this story were more important anyway. 
> 
> A big shout out to Lo (doujinbag) for rallying me through this and letting me talk out all the little details with her incessantly. You're the bomb dot com. Also to Dani (horrormovieshoes) for your never ending enthusiasm for this, I love both of you guys. 
> 
> **Please pay attention to tags and read at your own discretion. I'll put warnings before any chapters that I think might need them just in case.
> 
> Looks reference: [Alex](https://66.media.tumblr.com/e07409bdf554397745b28096f5dba60a/tumblr_obcq2w6TfV1rpsn0lo1_540.jpg) and [Miles](http://www.theplace2.ru/archive/miles_kane/img/miles_kane_shared_picture_1088017141.jpg)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy! <3333

_“And when I awoke I was alone, this bird has flown. So I lit a fire, isn't it good; norwegian wood?”_  
  
Miles leaned in close to his friend Cam's ear, singing the lyrics as the other man laughed and pushed him away.  
“You and your fucking Beatles, man. When will they disappear?” Cam asked, shaking his head and laughing at the offended look on Miles' face.  
  
“What?! How can you not like them, mate? They're legends. They've opened up so many doors musically!” Miles exclaimed, his eyes wide as he slapped his friend's shoulder.  
  
Cam rolled his eyes as he playfully shoved Miles back. “Whatever, mate. You look like you should have been in the band, what with that hair and all.”  
  
Miles laughed as he stood up from the couch, stretching his arms out before walking over to his record player and shutting it off. He couldn't even imagine somehow ending up so lucky as to be a musician for a living. Sometimes he daydreamed about one day gracing a stage himself, having taken guitar lessons since he was six, but he knew it would likely never happen. Still, he found it quite amazing to watch a couple of lads from his hometown make it big. It gave him a shred of hope for his own future. He was shook out of his thoughts by Cam throwing an arm over his shoulder and pulling him close.  
  
“So, how about we invite everyone over and have some fun? Eugene said that he met some birds down at the drive in the other night that were looking for a good time. He got their numbers and I bet he'd ring them up.” he suggested, smirking from the way Miles squirmed at the suggestion.  
  
“Of course...” he started, wiggling his eyebrows knowingly as Miles' cheeks began to heat up. “If you're in more of a queer mood, I could probably find a bloke for you.”  
  
Miles sighed exasperatedly as he shrugged off Cam's arm. “That's not how my attraction works, I don't suddenly shift moods... I just like whoever happens to interest me. And besides, you're the only one who knows about that anyway. I could get my head kicked in if anyone else found out.”  
  
Cam pursed his lips and nodded his head before walking over to the phone on the coffee table. “Whatever you say. I'm gonna phone him up though, I need some excitement here.”  
  
Miles shook his head and rubbed at his temples. “Mate, I don't know if I'm really up for anything tonight. Besides, I don't want my flat destroyed again like it was last time.”  
  
“I swear I'll clean it all up for you.” Cam said, his lips twisting into a devilish grin when Miles yelled, “That's exactly what you said last time!!”  
“But I actually mean it this time, Miles! I promise!” Cam insisted, his eyes wide and pleading. Miles groaned and slapped himself on the forehead. “Alright, alright! Fine, even though I know I'm going to regret this.”  
  
Cam picked up the receiver and began dialing Eugene's number. “What's there to regret? We're gonna get blitzed and hopefully get laid too!” he exclaimed as he began talking excitedly into the phone.  
  
Miles sighed and stood in the middle of the room, watching as Cam called all of their friends and invited them over. He tuned out what was actually being said, his ears beginning to fill with static as he let his mind wander. Sometimes he wished he wasn't so easy going and ready to make everyone happy. He had a horrible habit of not standing his ground, and he was about to pay for it. He felt himself getting irritated, more so with himself than anyone else. Just as his annoyance began to consume him, he felt a strange prickling on the back of his neck, as though something wasn't quite right.  
  
He began to recognize the feeling as being the one you get when you're being watched, and so he whirled his body around so that he was facing the wide, open window in his living room. He took a step closer and squinted his eyes, trying to see if he could catch a glimpse of anyone outside. His eyes darted around the yard, unable to detect anything suspicious. He hummed to himself and figured he must just be paranoid, and so decided to close his blinds.  
  
He walked over to the window and reached up for the cord in order to shut them, and he jumped when he noticed a quick flash of something reflecting outside. He pressed his face to the window to try and get a better look, but whatever it was had disappeared. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head, he thought he must be seeing things. Maybe someone tossed an empty can into his yard. He quickly shut his blinds and scratched at his head, knowing that he had an overly active imagination.  
  
He chose to shrug it off and get ready for the party.  
  
\-------  
  
Three a.m had rolled around and Miles was thoroughly shit faced. One good thing about always hosting parties was the fact that everyone else brought the booze, an agreement he and his mates had all settled on years ago. He stood in a corner and watched as his friends guzzled beers down and tried to dance with the girls Eugene had managed to bring with him. He made an attempt to seduce a lovely girl named Agnes, but eventually decided he really wasn't interested that night. She stormed off when she realized Miles had wasted her time, and was now trying to get with someone Cam had introduced him to as Julian.  
  
He laid his head back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling, trying to shove away the feeling of exhaustion that was slowly beginning to creep over him. He drank the last of his beer and tossed the can onto the floor, knowing full well that he'd have to clean it up in the morning, that Cam wouldn't follow through on his promise. He let his head loll to the side as his mind swam, his vision blurring as he tried to make out what everyone around him was up to. He smiled as Cam danced his way over to him, making ridiculous faces along the way.  
  
“Aye mate, thanks again for letting us do this. I really will clean it.” Cam slurred, throwing his arm over Miles' shoulder and pulling him in close.  
Miles smirked and shook his head. “We both know that's a goddamned lie, mate.”  
  
Both men laughed hysterically, despite the remark not even being very funny. Intoxication had definitely set in for the both of them, and it was starting to show in their behavior. Cam took a swig from the bottle he was holding and squinted his eyes at the other man. “You alright? You look like you're about to pass right out.” he said, making Miles nod and lean further into his friend for support.  
  
“Yeah, I'm pretty knackered. I've been thinking of trying to go get some sleep, since I still gotta work tomorrow.”  
  
Cam nodded and chugged the rest of his drink, wiping his mouth and looking out into the crowd. “Alright, leave it to me. I'll get everyone out of here.”  
  
Miles smiled and nodded his head, giving Cam a gentle pat on the shoulder. He watched as the other man walked into the middle of the room and shouted for everyone to get out, that the party was over. A few people groaned as they wandered around trying to find their coats, the annoyance apparent on their faces as they slowly trudged to the door. He laughed as Cam shooed everyone out, chasing them down and pulling beers right out of their hands before sending them packing. Miles rubbed the back of his neck as the last of the visitors filtered out.  
  
“There you go, mate. I'm gonna head out too but I swear I'll be back in the morning to clean! Don't try and do it before I get here, alright?!” Cam warned him, giving him a pointed look.  
  
“I won't, I won't. Thanks for the good time, as always.” Miles said, walking over and giving his friend a hug goodbye. “And I swear I won't try and clean, at least not tonight.”  
  
Cam rolled his eyes and rubbed his knuckles against Miles' scalp, making him screech and laugh uncontrollably.  
“Stop! You're gonna fuck up my hair!” Miles wailed between his laughter.  
  
“God, I swear you're worse than a girl sometimes, mate.” Cam joked, flinging his arms forward to stop the hit Miles attempted to deliver him. “I'm out of here, especially since I'm about to get my arse beat. I'll ring you in the morning before coming over.”  
  
Miles pushed the hair out of his eyes and nodded. He waited for the sound of the door clicking shut before walking over and locking it. He blew out his breath as he stepped away and padded down the hallway leading to his bedroom. He noticed the door was left slightly ajar, and so pushed it open as he struggled to get his t-shirt off. After wrestling with the fabric for a moment, he managed to rid himself of it and drop it to the floor. He glanced at the window, the light from a streetlamp outside making his blinds look like they were glowing. He reached down and unbuckled his belt, pulling it through the loops on his jeans and tossing it to the side. His eyes began to droop as he popped open the button to his pants, his hips wriggling as he pushed them down and off of himself.  
  
He rubbed his face and groaned into his hands, dragging them down his cheeks as he stepped forward towards his bed. Just as he made it to the edge, he swore he saw something flash by his window. He dropped his hands to his sides and froze up, staring out and waiting to see if it happened again. He felt a wave of panic rising, his stomach twisting as he practically held his breath. After a moment or two with nothing more happening, he slowly relaxed his muscles.  
  
“Probably an animal or something. The neighbor's dog is always getting loose.” he muttered to himself as he crawled into bed. He laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling, stretching his tired limbs out as he watched the shadows from outside on the walls. It didn't take long for his eyes to once again feel too heavy to hold open, and so he finally allowed himself to close them entirely. He tugged the covers up to his shoulders as he started to be lulled into sleep. Right as he was about to fall completely under, he thought he heard a muffled thud nearby. However, he was much too tired to give it much notice, and so slowly drifted off.  
  
\--------  
  
_Miles rolled onto his side with a yawn, suddenly feeling a warmth wrapping around his body. He leaned into it, welcoming it as he nuzzled his face against something laying beside him. His eyes shot open, and there he saw the shape of what appeared to be a man next to him. He tried desperately to make out any features, but all he saw was black where his face should have been. He registered a soft, deep voice humming into his ear, though it was completely unrecognizable to him._  
  
_He reached out to touch the man, and felt the heat from his skin against the tips of his fingers. The man pressed his body into the contact, and Miles felt hair brushing against his cheek. He could still hear the voice in his ear, saying something unintelligible to him. Miles leaned in closer, wanting to soak up any bit of heat possible. He felt chapped lips being dragged across his forehead, moving down to his cheeks and over his lips. He involuntarily puckered his own to try and catch the kiss, but he felt the wet warmth being pulled away before he could._  
  
_Fingers ran up and down his spine, and he trembled into the touch. It seemed calculated, like this was something the mystery man had done many times before. It seemed as though the person knew all of Miles' ticks, what he liked the most. Every caress had Miles gagging for more, and he whimpered when he suddenly realized that the touch had disappeared. He felt a wave of cold cascade over him, and he twisted his body into the sheets as he reached out for the man beside him. His breathing sped up as he felt nothing but air, and he jerked his body towards the other side of the bed and tried again, but to no avail. He slowly calmed himself down, his heartbeat steadying itself as his breathing evened out._  
  
_Just as he managed to settle himself down, he suddenly felt a heavy weight on top of him._  
  
_Miles dug his fingers into the bed as the weight pinned him down and made him squirm helplessly. He tried opening his eyes even wider to try and catch a glimpse of what was there, but all he saw was black. He flung his hands out to try and push the weight away, which only caused it to press down harder on his chest._  
  
_He coughed and wheezed as he tried to wrestle free, though was unable to. No matter how much he willed his body to move, he couldn't do it. He was trapped, and he began hyperventilating as he felt something sharp and piercing digging into his side. He opened his mouth to try and scream, but nothing came out. He instead heard screeching in his ear, followed by a voice sounding fiercely angry. The stabbing in his side repeated itself, over and over as Miles tried lifting his arms up once more. He sobbed and writhed, jerking his head away from the voice screaming into his ear. He felt like he was choking, and he realized it was becoming harder and harder for him to breathe. The pain moved from his sides and into his stomach and chest, and he thought he was surely on the verge of death. He could finally make out one word the voice was saying, repeating it over and over._  
  
_**“Run! Run! Run! R-” ** __****_  
  
Miles jolted upright with a loud gasp, his body covered in a cold sweat as he heaved and tried to catch his breath. His eyes were wild as he searched around his bedroom, desperately seeking what could have possibly held him down like that. He found nothing, and glanced at his clock to see that it was half past eight in the morning. He sighed heavily and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, quietly laughing with relief. It was only a dream. Nothing was there trying to get him. He sighed deeply and shook his head a couple of times, trying to wake himself up fully.  
  
He pulled back his sheets and went to start scooting himself off of his bed when he caught a whiff of something strange. He stopped moving and scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. He lifted the sheets to try and see if he smelled it again, inhaling deeply and catching it once more. It was entirely unfamiliar to him, smelling of a cologne he certainly never wore. He scratched his head as he tried to piece it together, and ultimately decided that a couple of people from the party last night had sex in his bed. He couldn't really remember smelling it the night before, but then again, he really couldn't remember much of anything.  
  
He reached over and tugged open his blinds to try and wake himself up further before pushing himself out of bed. He stumbled out into the hallway and towards the bathroom, his head throbbing. He tried to think of an excuse to get out of work as he went through his morning routine, though everything he managed to come up with seemed dumb and unbelievable. He never really was a good liar, so he knew he probably wouldn't have pulled it off anyway. He spat the remaining toothpaste he had in his mouth out and into the sink, shutting the faucet off and wandering back into his bedroom.  
  
He pulled his closet doors open and looked at the row of clothes in front of him, none of which really caught his attention that day. He rummaged through them, pushing hangers back and forth as he tried to make a decision on what he should wear. He mumbled to himself about needing to get new clothes as he tugged a random shirt and pair of pants off of their hangers. He tossed them onto the bed before walking over to his small dresser and digging through it. He pulled out a pair of underwear and socks and walked over to the edge of his bed, dropping them down on top of it before scratching at his stomach.  
  
He reached down to start removing his underwear as he glanced up at the window, tensing up when he noticed a smudge in the shape of a hand print at the bottom of the glass. He straightened his back out and slowly walked over to it, dragging his feet as he held his hand out to touch it. He tried to wipe it off, thinking it was from last night, though realized that it was from someone outside when it didn't disappear. He couldn't help but gulp out of slight fear, though soon shook it off and pushed his thoughts out of his head. Nobody was watching him, it was just one of his drunk friends trying to navigate themselves home the night before.  
  
Miles heaved a sigh and quickly pulled all of his clothes on, running his hands through his hair as he walked out into the living room. He took a look around the mess around the room and grimaced, knowing that he would likely have to deal with it when he came back home. He noticed that one of his old photo albums was sitting out and left open, and Miles crossed the room and ran his finger across it. It was open to a page of him and his mother at his graduation, and he smiled faintly at the memory seeing it brought back to him. He thought it was strange that someone would want to look at something like that at a party, but he didn't dwell on it too much. He knew that he sometimes got a little too overly curious whenever he was visiting someone else's home too.  
  
He shut the album and placed it back on the shelf where it belonged before looking down and noticing his shoes beside the bookcase. He slipped them on and moved back towards the door, grabbing his car keys and wallet out of a nearby basket. He decided to go ahead and leave before he got a call from Cam, his friend knew where the spare key was hidden anyway if he did decide to drop by.  
  
Miles opened the door and stepped outside, the morning air hitting his face as he turned to lock the house up. He swung his keys around on his finger as he strode to his car, looking around at his neighbor's houses as he did. He noticed a red Mini Cooper sitting across the street that he had never seen before, though assumed it must have been someone visiting whoever lived in the home it sat in front of.  
  
He looked away and fidgeted with his keys, trying to jiggle the handle just enough so that the car door would open. Once it finally did, he slipped inside and slammed the door shut. His head was still pounding as he turned on the ignition, and he laid his head down on the steering wheel for a moment. He knew he could just go back inside real quick and grab an aspirin, but he was just too lazy. He tapped his forehead once against the leather wheel before lifting his head back up and putting the car into reverse so that he could pull out.  
  
He already knew it was going to be a long day.  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another party, though this time Miles meets someone interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I know I should wait to post this until I have more of the third chapter done, but I couldn't help myself. :) I also know Alex comes across like an obnoxious teen boy in his first 'real' relationship, but it'll be explained why he is the way he is later on. Anyways, enjoy!!!! (Hopefully) <333

Miles walked through his front door and kicked off his shoes before he had even made it fully inside. His headache had managed to disappear, though he still felt a bit groggy, as though he never really woke up entirely. He was surprised to see that Cam had come back to clean up his flat, and he smiled at the note he left on the coffee table that said in all capital letters, “THERE YOU GO, WANKER”  
  
He shook his head and crumpled the paper up in his hand, going into the kitchen and tossing it into the trash can. He sighed heavily and opened the cabinets to try and find something to eat, but found nothing but a few cans of vegetables his mother had given him when he first moved in. He shuffled over towards the refrigerator and flung open the freezer, seeing that he still had an old TV dinner in there. With no other option, he pulled it out and turned his oven on to preheat, laying the frozen meal on the kitchen counter as he padded back out into the living room. Although Cam had cleaned up the mess from the party, Miles still noticed a few things disorganized, and so decided to pick the place up while he waited for his food to cook.  
  
\--------  
  
Miles dropped down onto the couch with his tray of food, reaching out in front of him to grab the remote control to his TV. He switched it on and slowly flipped through channels, seeing nothing that particularly interested him. He chose to leave it on the local news, for background noise more than anything else. He dug his fork into his mashed potatoes and shoveled them in quickly, having gone without eating for the entire day. He knew his mother would lose her head if she knew, accusing him of not taking care of himself properly. He also knew that telling her that he would simply just forget such things would not be a good enough answer for her, and she'd show up at his house to scold him within the hour.  
  
He went to take another bite when the shrill sound of his phone ringing filled the room, making him jump and spill his food all over the floor. “Oh for fuck's sake!” he groaned, reaching over and snatching up the receiver.  
  
“Hello?” he said, rolling his eyes when he heard Cam's voice in his ear.  
“Aye, mate! Listen, Jay is having a get together at his, are you in? I'll cover your beers to make up for wrecking your place last night.”  
  
Miles stared down in despair at his long lost food, frowning at it before responding to his friend's question. “Erm... Yeah, alright. I've just got to clean up a bit and then I'll be there. Oh, and thanks for picking the place up. I think you may very well be a changed man.”  
  
Cam laughed down the line. “I promised you I would! So why are you cleaning again? Mine wasn't good enough for you?”  
  
“No no, it's not that. I just wasn't expecting your call and so when the phone rang I dropped my food on the floor.” Miles said, twisting his mouth in amusement at Cam's cackling.  
  
“Didn't realize you were so easily frightened. Sounds good, man. See you in awhile then, yeah?” Cam said, to which Miles answered with a quick yes. They said their goodbyes and Miles hung up the line, being careful to watch where he stepped as he stood up. He went to the kitchen to grab an empty bag and a washcloth before heading back into the living room and cleaning up his mess. He tied the plastic bag up and tossed it into the trash can once he made it into the kitchen. He pulled his shoes back on and walked around the room, shutting off the TV and any lights that were on before grabbing his keys and heading out the door once again.  
  
\----------------  
Miles threw his head back in laughter, trying to move Cam over so that he could make his shot into one of the opposite team's cups. He was exceptionally good at beer pong, proving it as he made another ping pong ball land into his opponent's cup. George groaned and picked up the plastic cup, pulling out the ball and swigging the liquid down before tossing the cup aside.  
  
Julian from the previous night pointed at Miles in a mock threatening way, flashing a smile before taking his turn. He cracked up as Julian completely missed his target, knowing for sure that he and Cam were certainly going to win again. He whispered into Cam's ear, though the words were slurred and unintelligible. As Miles went to pull away, he caught the glance of a man he'd never seen before out the corner of his eye.  
  
He turned his head to face the stranger, feeling a little taken aback by how beautiful he was. He was small, both in height and body type, though Miles wasn't sure exactly, since the man was leaned up against the wall. He wore a black, cracked leather jacket, and jeans that were quite tight on him. Miles' gaze traveled further up so that he could get a look at the man's face, noting skin as white as a ghost and sharp cheekbones. His hair was similar to a mop style cut, with bangs framing his face and falling into his dark brown eyes. His eyes... His stare was so intense that Miles almost felt uncomfortable, he felt stripped bare.  
  
The man licked his lips and smiled, though it seemed a bit forced and didn't quite reach his eyes. Still, he had Miles completely entranced, and he continued to stare at him until Cam grabbed his shoulders and shook him. “Hello, earth to Miles! You in there, lad?” he yelled, trying to make himself heard over the music. Miles looked over at him absentmindedly and nodded, his eyes drifting back over to the beauty across the room.  
  
Cam followed Miles' gaze and laughed once he saw the man, leaning in closer so that he wouldn't be heard. “I see, you found a pretty face to admire.”  
  
Miles squirmed and tried elbowing his friend, though ended up missing. “Shut up.” was his only retort. He couldn't exactly deny the statement.  
  
Cam patted Miles' shoulder before murmuring, “Well, what are you waiting for? Go and get him, tiger.”  
  
Miles looked back at the other man in worry, unsure if he should try and make a move. For all he knew, this guy was just one of those types that liked to stare at others. That would explain why his smile was a little strange, if Miles has been making him uncomfortable this whole time. He peeked back over in the man's direction to find him slightly hiding himself in the shadows, though was still visible to Miles. The man quirked up a brow and lifted his hand up, using his index finger to motion for Miles to come closer. Miles swallowed hard and nodded, taking one last glance at Cam to see him smiling encouragingly.  
  
He slowly shuffled forward, dragging his feet as he made his way over to the other man. He straightened up as Miles got closer, taking a sip of his drink and flashing him another smile, though this time it was absolutely dazzling. Miles couldn't help but suck his breath in, his steps getting faster until they were right in front of each other. The man looked Miles up and down, the fierceness in his eyes making Miles practically break into a sweat. He stuck his hand out and blurted, “I'm Miles!”  
  
The man smirked and gently took the hand being offered into his own, giving a light squeeze that sent zaps of electricity up Miles' spine. “It's a pleasure, love. I'm Alex.” he drawled, his voice low and just a tiny bit scratchy. Miles knew why when he noticed the pack of cigarettes sticking out of Alex's pocket. He sighed dreamily from the sound of it, never had he ever heard something so utterly beautiful; so mesmerizing.  
  
Alex let go of Miles' hand, his fingertips sliding across the palm and making Miles shiver. Alex looked over Miles' shoulder and gestured towards the backdoor. “Interested in heading out for a smoke with me, Miles? I'd love to chat with you, but I can't really hear in here.”  
  
Miles nodded his head in compliance at an embarrassingly fast rate, his cheeks flushing as Alex grinned. Miles let Alex lead the way out, shooting a quick glance over in Cam's direction and catching his friend making obscene sexual gestures at him. He quickly looked away as he felt Alex's hand gently gripping his elbow, having Miles trail along behind him like a lost puppy. Alex rushed forward so that he was in front, reaching out and tugging on the handle to the sliding glass door.  
  
Alex pulled it open and motioned for Miles to go first, his hand resting on the small of Miles' back as they made their way outside. Miles sat down on the top step of the porch, with Alex joining him seconds later. Alex pulled out his pack of cigarettes and pushed the lid open with his thumb, holding it out and offering one to the other man. Miles pulled one out of the pack and stared down at it; waiting for Alex to hand him a lighter. He got the cigarette lit and inhaled deeply, the smoke filling his lungs and making him hum softly to himself.  
  
The two men were silent for a moment, with Miles staring up at the star studded night sky, as Alex stared at him instead. Miles felt his skin crawl with the feeling that he was being watched, and so turned his head so that the two men were facing each other. Alex smiled and looked over each of Miles' features, and the Scouser felt like the other man was trying to memorize them. Alex's gaze flickered back up to Miles' eyes, and he smiled as he took a hit off of his cigarette. Miles returned the smile before asking, “So, how do you know Jay?”  
  
Alex puffed on his cigarette, watching Miles as he slowly exhaled. “I'll be honest with you, I have no idea who he is; I just saw a party and wanted to grab a beer.”  
  
Miles cackled, throwing his head back and patting Alex's shoulder. “That's great, mate. I love it.”  
  
Alex smiled briefly and looked away, and it appeared as though he was brooding. “So, is that man you were playing games with your boyfriend, then?” Alex asked, his voice holding a detectable note of jealousy. He looked confused as Miles burst into a fit of laughter over the suggestion.  
  
“God no, Cam is certainly not my boyfriend! He's my best mate. I don't... I don't have anyone special in my life.” Miles answered, pushing the strands of hair strewn across his forehead back.  
  
Alex made a slight grimace before shaking his head and grinning at Miles sweetly. “Pretty thing like you without someone to cuddle at night? Such a shame.” he flirted boldly, knowing full well that if the wrong people heard them, they could both be thrown into jail.  
  
Miles smiled shyly as he started rubbing the back of his neck. Just as thoughts of cuddling Alex began creeping into his mind, he suddenly had a flashback from his dream the night before. The nicer parts of it at least. That feeling of being held, of being cherished. Miles craved it to his core, and he couldn't help but imagine what it must feel like to be in Alex's arms. His body scooted a scant inch closer to the other man, aching to feel his body heat against his own.  
  
_'What the hell is wrong with me?' _he thought, he had literally just met this man and was already acting like a complete fool. Alex didn't appear to mind, however, he actually seemed to be enjoying it. Alex winked and smirked at Miles, and he began to think that his infatuation was already blatantly obvious. Miles sighed to himself, he hated looking so desperate and becoming interested in anyone who slightly acknowledged him. It caught Alex's attention, who cocked his head to the side and studied the other man.__  
  
“What are you feeling right now?” he asked, making Miles' brows furrow. He thought it was a strange question to ask, at least being worded that way. Still, he flicked the ash off of the tip of his cigarette and answered it. “I feel a bit stupid, is all. Kind of embarrassed.”  
  
Alex narrowed his eyes and slowly nodded his head. “Why?”  
  
Miles shrugged as he blew smoke out of his mouth. “It's just... You're quite lovely and I feel weird for thinking that when we don't even know each other.”  
  
Alex laughed and ground his cigarette out on the pavement before tossing it aside. “Tell me more about yourself, then. I wanna know everything about you.”  
  
The remark was another thing Miles found a bit odd, but he didn't think much of it, instead he smiled and tucked his hand under his chin. Alex was looking at him expectantly, his whole demeanor making him seem entirely enthralled with anything Miles might tell him. Miles thought for a moment on what he could say, and decided to just list off random things about himself.  
  
“Well, I'm twenty-three, born and raised in The Wirral. I'm a salesman at Weller &Co, been there for three years now. Erm.. My favorite band is The Beatles.” Miles rambled on, though was cut off by Alex.  
  
“The Beatles are my favorite band too! I saw them in a bar right before they got famous!” Alex exclaimed, and Miles' eyes widened with disbelief.  
  
“No fucking way! You met them??” he cried, feeling both in awe and a bit jealous.  
Alex nodded his head enthusiastically. “Yeah, mate! Had a drink with them and everything. Nice lads, them.”  
Miles was wowed by the story, and so urged Alex to continue. “Did anything else happen?”  
  
Alex shook his head, a crooked smile on his face and a gleam in his eye. “Nah, we gabbed a bit about some of the birds in the bar and about music, but other than that, no. It were amazing though.”  
  
“I bet...” Miles said, staring off in wonder over the idea of meeting his idols. He thought it was incredible that he was even speaking with someone who had. Miles licked his lips and asked, “Do you play any instruments or anything? I play guitar myself.”  
Alex pushed the bangs out of his face, leaning in a bit closer as he did. “So do I, yeah. I bet you're great at it though, with those long fingers and all.” he said, his voice sounding a bit suggestive and causing Miles to blush.  
  
“I'm not that good, no... I try though.” he mumbled, and Alex clucked his tongue.  
  
“Oh, I'm sure you're fantastic. I do hope you play for me next time.”  
  
Miles lifted his head up, a small smile playing at his lips. “Next time?” he asked, to which Alex nodded slowly.  
“I'd like to see you outside of here, yeah. I like you.” he said, and Miles raised his eyebrows in surprise.  
“You like me? How do you know that already?”  
  
Alex shrugged and tapped on his chest. “I just do; I feel it in here. Something tells me we were destined to meet each other.”  
  
Miles considered the notion, never having much belief in soul mates before. He admittedly had a little crush on the other man, though he knew it was based solely on a physical attraction, rather than an emotional one. He didn't want to disregard Alex's feelings and beliefs entirely, and wondered if maybe he was right. Maybe something did draw them together for a reason. Or maybe Miles was just lucky to land himself a gorgeous man who happened to be slightly off for the night.  
  
“I guess you're one of those romantic types, eh? ” Miles asked, dropping his cigarette to the ground and crushing it under the heel of his boot. “I admit that I've always been a bit of a sucker for them.”  
  
Alex let out a small laugh, and suddenly was looking at Miles with a dreamy glow in his eyes. “Definitely, love. I can't help but shower my partners in it... Just to let you know.” he said with a wink, and Miles chuckled at the hint.  
  
“Well, thank you for that...” Miles said, trailing off and becoming silent as the two of them stared at each other.  
  
Alex slowly licked his lips, his eyes dropping down and getting a look at Miles' mouth. He reached out and ran his finger down the other man's arm. “Let me take you home with me.”  
  
Miles nearly choked on his own saliva at the suggestion, and he wondered if he didn't hear clearly. “What?!”  
  
“Come home with me. You and I both know that we're gonna wind up in bed together by the end of the night, so why step around it?” Alex replied, making Miles blush profusely and fueling the other man to keep talking. “Don't be embarrassed, there's nothing wrong with sleeping together.”  
  
Miles covered his eyes for a second and tried to calm himself down. “It's not that, it's just... You're just so blunt about it. So nonchalant.”  
“I don't ever talk in circles, Miles. I get right to the point of things; I'd rather not waste my time or yours.”  
Miles scratched at his thigh and nodded his head. “That's a good thing, I suppose.”  
  
“So?” Alex asked, continuing to push the issue as he leaned in closer. Miles knew he wanted Alex, and why should he refuse to give in? He knew the weight of the law rested on his shoulders, that any romantic involvement with Alex could have him jailed, but that was something he always pushed aside during the heat of the moment. He chewed thoughtfully on his bottom lip, and sucked his breath in when he felt Alex's hand drop down to his thigh. He watched as the other man squeezed gently, urging Miles to make up his mind.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
Alex bared a wolfish grin, standing up and motioning for Miles to do the same. “Wonderful, darling. I hate to ask, but could you drive? I was walking when I ended up here.”  
  
Miles laughed and nodded, leaving his beer on the steps as he stood up. “Sure, just let me say goodbye to Cam real quick.”  
  
Alex snatched Miles' wrist into his hand and attempted to tug him closer. “Oh, come on baby; you're a big boy and don't need to check in with anyone.”  
“It'll only be a minute. He'll worry if I don't.” Miles said, pushing Alex's shoulder playfully with his free hand.  
“Come on, Miles; it'll be fine.” Alex countered, his voice urgent as he said, “Wanna show you how good I can make you feel.”  
  
Miles visibly shivered, and he heard Alex's voice soften as he started to coo into his ear, trying to convince Miles to do what was asked of him. He glanced over at the house before turning back to Alex, silently nodding his head and giving in. Alex smiled triumphantly and pulled Miles by the wrist towards the gate surrounding the yard. He unlocked it and pushed the door open, tugging Miles along as he walked out towards the sidewalk, not even bothering to shut the gate closed.  
  
“Which one is yours?” Alex asked, looking around at the cars lining the street.  
  
Miles pointed at a white Morris Minor, a gush of wind hitting his face and helping to sober him up. “That one there.”  
Alex quickly glanced back at the house before turning to face Miles, a half smile forming on his face as he nodded his head. “Off we go, then.”  
  
\--------------  
  
“That's it, that one on the left.” Alex directed Miles, and the other man slowly pulled into Alex's driveway. It was quite long, and took a minute for his house to appear. He lived in a secluded area in the woods, where there wasn't another house in at least three miles. The place wasn't massive, but it wasn't tiny either. Miles put the car into park and shut off the ignition, and subsequently became surrounded in nothing but darkness.  
  
Miles tried to get a look around, but couldn't see anything but pitch black. He jumped when he felt a hand at his leg, and laughed softly at himself for overreacting. Alex giggled as well, and he squeezed Miles' thigh as he leaned in closer; his tongue flicking against the other man's earlobe. “Let's go inside, yeah? I've got something special planned for you.”  
  
Miles swallowed hard, his blood rapidly surging downwards as he asked, “Like what?”  
  
Alex hummed into Miles' ear, his hand twisting into his hair as he murmured, “Like making you feel better than you ever have in your entire life. I'll blow your mind, baby; among other things.”  
  
“Oh...” Miles responded, his voice shaking as his breathing began to quicken. “Sorry, it's just that I didn't imagine that you'd be so... upfront about this.”  
  
“Mm; I prefer being blunt, and I go after what I want. I never deny myself pleasure, Miles; and you shouldn't either. It's better that way, acting on your desires. I always do, no matter what they are.”  
  
Miles nodded his head, despite being unable to be seen. “Let's go inside, then.”  
  
Alex beamed and kissed Miles' cheek, waiting as Miles climbed out of the car. He let himself out on the driver's side before slamming the door shut behind him. He grabbed Miles by the waist and pulled him towards the front of the house, guiding the other man through the darkness. He evidently didn't even bother to lock his front door, since he simply twisted the knob and pushed it open.  
  
Miles stumbled inside and leaned against the wall, his eyes narrowing as he tried to get a look around the place. The first thing he noticed was the pronounced smell of bleach, and he chuckled to himself over the discovery. He wasn't surprised that Alex was a clean freak, he seemed like the type. The noise captured Alex's attention, who flicked on the light before moving to stand in front of Miles; his arms resting on the wall to cage Miles in.  
  
“What's so funny, sweetheart?” he asked, a bit of a deviant smile on his face.  
  
Miles shook his head before pushing his hands into Alex's hair. “Nothing, just your house reeks of bleach and I think that being a clean freak suits you. For whatever reason.”  
  
Alex tilted his head, a spark in his eyes as he moved his hands from off the wall and onto Miles' shoulders. He leaned in close and whispered into Miles' ear, “I still know how to be a dirty boy, though.”  
  
With that, he dropped to his knees and began unbuckling Miles' belt.  
  
\---------------  
  
Miles laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling, his body already sore from the various scratches and bite marks that Alex inflicted on him. He was wild in bed, more so than Miles ever expected, but exciting all the same. Miles would openly admit that it was undoubtedly the best sex he's ever had. Alex seemed a bit hesitant to let Miles top, though ended up agreeing to it and instead gave Miles orders from the bottom. Miles stretched out his legs, feeling Alex press against his side. He laid his head on Miles' chest and yawned, his eyelashes fluttering against warm skin.  
  
They laid together silently for a moment, and Miles stiffened when he suddenly smelled the same cologne from that morning. “Alex? What sort of cologne do you wear?” he asked, and Alex shifted and shrugged his shoulders. “Dunno, some cheap shit that I always just buy so I have something. Why do you ask?”  
  
Miles was silent for a moment, trying to come up with an answer that sounded somewhat normal. Being unable to think of anything, he chose to just be honest. “I woke up this morning and I swore I smelled that exact scent in my sheets, that's all.”  
  
Alex laughed and nuzzled his face into Miles' chest. “What, so you think I somehow sneaked into your house last night and got in your bed? Don't be daft, I had no idea who you were yesterday.”  
  
“You're right, yeah. I figured a couple people just had sex in my bed, that must have been it. Sorry for making it seem like I was accusing you... It's just quite the coincidence." Miles babbled, feeling beyond embarrassed for even considering that it was Alex.  
  
“Mm, it's alright, love; I'm not angry. But it is just some mediocre cologne that you can buy anywhere, so I'm not surprised someone else you know wears it.”  
  
Alex lifted his head up, so that his chin pressed into the other man's body; his eyes somehow appearing both sleepy, yet alert. It was as though he was pretending to be tired. “You're gonna stay the night with me, yeah?”  
  
Miles hummed and nodded his head, his hand slowly rubbing up and down Alex's bare back. “Mhm, I'll stay with you, laa.”  
Alex smiled and inched himself impossibly closer. “I really like you, Miles. You're stunning; you're everything I ever could have asked for.”  
  
Miles wasn't sure how to feel about the statement, thinking that Alex was perhaps rushing into things. Still, the less reasonable side of himself was positively glowing from the words, his heart racing as he tried to hold back a smile. Who was he to say that Alex's feelings were invalid? He started wondering if Alex's suggestion that they were destined to meet really was true.  
  
“I really like you too, Alex. And I promise that I'm not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me over on [tumblr](http://prettyvisitorsinthebakery.tumblr.com)!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles gets to know Alex a little better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for how long this took :( I don't have much explanation for this one, other than to say I hope you enjoy it! <333

Miles raced around his house as he tried to tidy the place up; not wanting Alex to see it in it's current condition. He was coming over for the first time that night, and Miles wanted absolutely everything to be perfect. The past few weeks with him had been wonderful, he never expected to have so much in common with someone else. Not to mention the fact that Alex constantly showered him in little gifts, flowers, and nights filled with sweet nothings being whispered into his ear. Miles smiled to himself from just the thought of the other man, and his stomach filled with butterflies. Alex might've been a little odd to some, but Miles couldn't get enough of him.  
  
He put an Elvis record on and started singing to himself as he cleaned up his flat, his voice getting louder as the songs went on. He swayed his hips and danced along to the beat, bopping his head along as he twirled around the living room. He shook his body back and forth as he leaned down to clean off his coffee table, his voice cracking as he hit a high note. Just as he had tossed his collected trash into the garbage, he heard a knocking at his door. He jumped a bit and hurried over to the record player to shut it off, smoothing out his hair as he walked over to the door. He cleared his throat and pulled it open, grinning when he saw Alex standing there, propping himself up by leaning on his arm that he had raised and pressed against the door frame.  
  
Miles held his breath as he stared at the other man, his cheeks turning pink as Alex raised a brow in questioning. He stepped aside and motioned for Alex to come in, sighing quietly as their bodies brushed against each other. He glanced outside and noticed that there was a red Mini Cooper parked in his driveway, making him whirl around so that he was facing the other man. He shut the door behind him and tilted his head as he asked, “That's your car out there?”  
  
Alex rubbed his hand over his chin, nodding slowly as he looked at Miles. “Yeah, why?”  
  
“I saw that car across the street a few weeks ago is all, or one that looked like it.” Miles replied, his eyebrows shooting up as Alex giggled and stepped closer. “Yeah, I'm friends with the guy across the street. Well, not really friends, I guess, but I buy weed from him every now and then. Andy's his name.”  
  
Miles nodded his head in understanding, his body relaxing against the door as Alex crept up in front of him. Miles draped his arms over Alex's shoulders as the other man cupped his face, his eyes flickering up and down before leaning in and pressing their lips together. Alex's kisses were always a bit intense, slipping back and forth between rough and sweet, as though he could never fully make up his mind on how he wanted the mood to be set. There was a dominance in them that Miles couldn't help but love, and he eagerly gave up control each time.  
  
“Missed me?” Alex asked once he pulled away, speaking lowly into Miles' ear as his thumbs rubbed across his jaw.  
Miles nodded and smiled, feeling as though his breath was being taken away. “Yes, I missed you.”  
Alex grinned and hummed approvingly, leaning in and pressing his lips to Miles' cheek before pulling back. “I like knowing that. Mm. I like it a lot.”  
Miles tilted his head, his eyes lidded as he pressed for more. “Why's that?”  
  
“I like that you miss me when I'm gone. It feels nice... to be wanted.” Alex said, lowering his eyes to the floor as he suddenly appeared to be upset about something. It made Miles' heart wrench.  
  
“Oh, I always want you around, baby. I miss you like mad when you're not with me, Al. I really do... Who wouldn't want you?”  
  
Alex sighed and looked up through his lashes, his face sullen as Miles reached over and pushed away the bangs falling into his eyes. He bit his lip anxiously, letting out a small gasp of breath when Miles leaned in and kissed his temple. “Come on, tell me.” Miles whispered, nuzzling his face into the crook of the other man's neck. Alex inhaled sharply and nodded his head; grabbing Miles' hand and leading him over to the couch. They sat down beside one another, with their knees pressed against each other. Alex blew out his breath as he began to explain himself further.  
  
“I just haven't had any luck with relationships. I always get lied to, cheated on, manipulated, and just torn to shreds emotionally. I give and give and love with all my heart and it's never worked out for me. It's never been enough. I know I sound stupid and dramatic, but it doesn't feel good to be treated so badly all the time, you know?” Alex poured out, his voice cracking as his bottom lip trembled.  
  
Miles' heart ached for him, and he reached out and pulled Alex into his arms. He squeezed tight as he pressed his nose into Alex's hair, rubbing up and down the other man's back as he tried to comfort him. Alex didn't cry, and Miles knew he must have simply shut himself down, he couldn't blame Alex for that. It all made sense to him now, Alex's somewhat peculiar behavior and eagerness to push their relationship forward so fast. He hummed softly and kissed the top of Alex's head.  
  
“I'll never treat you that way, Al. I swear I won't. I'll be good to you, faithful, and would never take advantage of your kind heart.” Miles said, trying to reassure the other man. He wanted Alex to really know that everything was going to be different this time.  
  
Alex hooked his arms around Miles' neck and nodded, his lips slipping over the warmth of the Scouser's skin. “I know you wouldn't, Miles. You're good. You're not like the rest of them. You're absolutely perfect in every single way.”  
  
Miles couldn't help but smile to himself, goosebumps rising on his arm from the thrill of hearing Alex say such things. He felt Alex's grip tighten, and he sighed from the contact. Alex kissed Miles' cheek before slowly pulling away, his gaze burning into the other man as he stared at him. Miles did everything he could to hold back the dreamy sighs threatening to escape from his mouth, and flashed Alex a smile. “How about we go get something to eat and rent a movie, hm?”  
  
Alex slowly nodded his head, licking his lips as he stood up and held his hand out to Miles. “I'll drive.”  
  
Miles grabbed his hand and followed along behind Alex, eager to go anywhere the other man wanted to lead him to.  
  
\------------  
  
Miles cringed as he stared at his TV screen, watching as the woman in the film was brutally stabbed in her shower. He never liked horror films, but Alex insisted that they had to watch this one. Miles eventually gave in, and here he was fully regretting it. He hated the sight of blood, even in black and white, and he turned his face away in order to avoid it. Alex was sitting upright, leaning forward a bit as he watched on in total fascination. His eyes were completely fixated on the screen, and Miles figured he must be quite the horror enthusiast. He smiled a bit and reached over to push the bangs out of Alex's face, making him glance in Miles' direction out of the corners of his eyes.  
  
“What's wrong with you? Blood making you squeamish?” Alex asked, a hint of teasing in his voice as he smirked and turned towards the TV.  
  
Miles huffed and looked away, knowing he couldn't deny it, but still not enjoying being mocked for it. “Yeah, so what?”  
  
Alex looked back over at Miles with a raised brow, licking his lips as he leaned in closer. “Nothing, love. Just was wondering if I should give you a cuddle or not... I'll keep the bad guys away.” he cooed as he moved closer to the other man.  
  
“Well, it's the least you could do, yeah.” Miles replied, wanting Alex's arms around him more than anything. He smiled as he felt warmth wrapping over his body, and leaned into the touch as Alex pulled him closer. He felt kisses on his forehead, along with Alex's hand running up and down his arm. He shivered as he laid his head on Alex's shoulder, pressing himself as close as he could possibly manage. He knew that it was impossible for anyone in the movie to come and get him, but it still was comforting to know he was protected from them anyway.  
  
\--------  
  
Soon after the movie finished, Miles had ended up on his back underneath Alex; his face flushed and his breathing erratic as the other man practically mauled at his neck. Miles knew that wasn't the most flattering thing to call it, but he couldn't think of anything better to describe Alex's behavior. Miles groaned and gripped Alex's shirt so tight that he could feel his fingers going numb, pushing his head back further into the couch so that more of his throat was exposed. Alex had been all over him the second the movie had ended, and he assumed it was from how close in proximity they were for the majority of it. Miles never knew how to respond to Alex's aggressiveness, instead allowing himself to become further tangled in the web each time. He never tried to fight back, he would simply lay in wait for Alex to devour him.  
  
Alex lifted his head and began to pant into Miles' ear, his groin rutting harder against the Scouser's with each passing second. He sat up on Miles' lap as he continued to grind down, reaching up and grabbing the collar of his long sleeved denim shirt. Luckily it was made with snaps instead of buttons, and so he was able to pull it open with ease. He bit his lip as he stared down at Miles, studying his reactions to every move made. Miles was smiling back up at him, his eyes hazy as he gently held onto Alex's hips.  
  
“Don't need to be so gentle love, I'm not gonna break, you know.” Alex said, winking at the other man before muttering to himself, “Always so gentle...”  
  
He rolled his hips down faster as his hair fell into his eyes, his hands slipping away from the fabric of his shirt and down to Miles' chest. He pushed Miles' shirt up before lowering himself down, so that their chests were pressed together. Alex snatched Miles' arms and held them up above his head by the wrist, using his body weight to hold the other man down as he spoke into his ear.  
  
“I wanna be close to you, Miles; breathe you in and always keep you by my side. I wanna be part of you.”  
  
Miles stared up at Alex, unsure how to react to what he had just said. He never heard something so intense before, and could hear the genuine desire in Alex's voice. It made his body shake and his voice quiver, and he pressed his own body closer as he murmured, “I think you already are. Always in my head. I'm completely infatuated by you. I think I'm probably insane for jumping into things so quickly, but I can't help it. You just... You make me feel special.”  
  
Alex smiled and kissed Miles' forehead, holding his wrists up with one hand as he reached down and fumbled with the zipper on his jeans. He tugged it down and pulled the button open, moaning softly when Miles bit down on his own bottom lip as he watched. “I'm crazy, you know. I'm completely fucked in the head.” he blurted out, much to Miles' confusion. He looked up to find Alex already staring right back, eerily content, though that soon changed as Miles began to question him.  
  
“What do you mean you're crazy? Like, because of our relationship?” he asked, all movement coming to a halt as he waited for an answer. Alex quickly shook his head and laughed nervously.  
  
“No no, baby; we're so right together. We're perfect, you and I. I'm crazy for you, is all I meant. Positively mad for you...” he trailed off, his voice getting lower and huskier as he pressed his lips to the other man's. It was short lived, as he continued to ramble once their lips were separated. “You're all I think about, all I dream about. The only thing I want to touch, see, smell, hear...” Alex mumbled, sloppily kissing Miles' throat as the Scouser softly whimpered and lolled his head to the side, giving him better access. Alex licked a stripe up Miles' neck before snagging his bottom lip between his teeth, biting gently before letting go and whispering, “All I want to taste. I wanna be coated in you. Want you all over me and stained onto my skin.”  
  
Miles couldn't help but breathe a bit faster at the words, his head racing with different thoughts as to what this could all mean. There was a certain jabbing deep in his gut, something telling him that maybe this wasn't all quite right. Still, he couldn't bring himself to ponder it for very long. Why should he question the best thing that's every happened to him? Alex was everything he could've asked for in a partner, and he wasn't about to toss it aside. Miles sighed as he felt Alex undo his pants and slip a hand into the front of them, making him squirm and try to reach out and touch the other man. Alex only smirked and gripped Miles' wrists tighter.  
  
He pulled his hand out of Miles' jeans, ignoring the resulting protests from the Scouser as he pressed his hand against the center of Miles' chest in order to hold him down. Miles whimpered and closed his eyes, giving up any ounce of control he could possibly still have left in him. Alex resumed his previous actions and started to grind his pelvis against the other man's, aching for that closeness he had described earlier. He let his head fall back as he taunted Miles, knowing full well what he really wanted. Alex moved his hand away from Miles' chest so that he could reach down into his own trousers, intending to pull his hardened cock out of the restraining material. Just as his hand wrapped around his shaft, the front door flung open, as Cam invited himself inside just like he had done many times before.  
  
Cam's mouth dropped open in shock when he first got a look at the two other men, though he soon burst out laughing as he covered his mouth. “Shit, sorry... Didn't realize you had uh... _company _there, Miles.”__  
  
Miles attempted to wriggle his way out of Alex's grasp, though was unable to when the Northerner tightened his hold on the other's wrists. Alex stared coldly at Cam, and much to Miles' embarrassment, continued to slowly rut against him. Miles bit his lip and looked up at his friend helplessly, having no idea what to say given his current situation. Alex, however, was quick to respond.  
  
“You gonna stand there and watch us fuck or are you gonna get the hell out of here?” he asked, his voice sounding harsh and almost threatening. Miles blinked slowly as Alex pulled his hand out of his trousers, then gasped as Alex dragged his nails down his torso; all the while still glaring at the intruder. Cam slowly backed up as he looked over nervously at Miles, laughing softly as he reached for the doorknob. Miles couldn't help but notice that it sounded forced.  
  
“I.. I'm leaving. Sorry mate, didn't mean to interrupt.. I'll ring you tomorrow, Miles.” he stuttered before quickly slipping back outside, slamming the door shut behind him.  
  
Alex continued to stare at the door after Cam had left, muttering, “I'll ring you tomorrow, Miles” to himself in a mocking tone. He looked down and saw Miles trying to squirm away, and realized that he was holding the other man's wrists so tight that his knuckles and fingertips were white. He slowly released Miles' hands as he leaned down to press their foreheads together, looking cross as he said,“He comes over much too often for my liking.”  
  
Miles sighed and reached out to push Alex's hair out of his face, moving his head up so that he could kiss Alex's cheek. “He doesn't mean any harm. He's my best friend and isn't used to having to share me, is all.” he murmured, making Alex grimace.  
  
“I don't like sharing, Miles.” Alex retorted, his voice menacing. Miles couldn't help but roll his eyes, though a playful smile spread across his face.  
  
“Settle down, will you? He's straight as an arrow, and I have no interest in him anyway. I only want you.” he said, his voice quiet as he carded his fingers through Alex's hair. He watched as Alex's face softened, and felt his heart beat faster when the Northerner smiled back.  
  
“Okay... I just worry, you know? I've been hurt a lot. I don't mean to be so accusatory.” Alex whispered, as though he were ashamed to admit such a thing.  
  
Miles hummed as he puckered his lips and kissed Alex's mouth. “I know, I'm not angry. Just remember that you have no reason to be jealous of anyone; especially Cam.”  
  
Alex nodded his head slowly, his eyes wandering over Miles' features as he appeared to be deep in thought. “Alright... I'll try to calm down about that stuff.”  
  
“Thank you, love.” Miles replied, taking advantage of his hands being free by slipping them underneath Alex's opened shirt so that he could rub the other man's back.  
  
“So... How about you continue where you left off?” Miles suggested, smiling coyly as Alex laughed under his breath.  
“I think I could do that, yeah.” Alex agreed, licking his lips as he once more pressed his mouth to Miles' throat.  
  
\----------  
  
Miles stretched his legs out as he made himself comfortable in his bed, shivering as a light breeze came into the bedroom. It was an unusually warm evening for mid December, and so he had opened his window at Alex's suggestion. He rolled over onto his side so that he was facing the other man, his eyes going over every little detail of Alex's back. He reached out and ran his fingertip down Alex's spine, and he smiled to himself when he saw the Northerner jump a little bit.  
  
“You're much too far away for my liking.” Miles teased, his voice soft and endearing as he slid his hand down Alex's side. He felt his blood racing through his veins as Alex turned to look at him from over his shoulder, his eyebrow raised as a crooked smile spread across his face. He effortlessly relented to Miles' request, and turned onto his side so that the two men were facing each other. He pulled Miles closer towards him, wrapping his arms around the Scouser tightly. Miles pressed their bodies together, mirroring Alex's actions and weaving his arms around the other man's lithe frame.  
  
“Alex?” Miles mumbled, his face muffled by his pillow.  
“Mm, yeah?” Alex rasped, his eyes lidded as he looked over at Miles.  
  
Miles slipped a hand from Alex's waist and up towards his cheek, stroking the pale skin with his thumb. “Why did the people in your other relationships treat you so badly?”  
  
Alex sighed heavily, licking his lips as his eyes met Miles'. “I dunno, really. That's just how they always were. I suppose it were only natural that I was drawn to that sort of type, my parents weren't great either. My sister has always been the perfect one, and I've always been the fuck up in their eyes.”  
  
“You have a sister?” Miles interrupted, pulling one of his arms away from Alex so that he could prop his head up.  
Alex nodded his head. “Yeah, we're twins, actually. Fraternal of course. Alexa's her name.”  
Miles couldn't help but laugh. “Alex and Alexa? Really?”  
  
Alex rolled his eyes, shaking the hair out of his face as he spoke. “Yeah, my mum was all into that matching shit. A lot of our clothes were the same as babies, before we got too old for that type of thing... She's trying to become a model or something, last I heard.”  
  
“Oh, that's nice I guess... You don't like her, though?” Miles pressed, realizing that he knew virtually nothing of Alex's past.  
  
“Fuck no, she's an absolute bitch if you ask me.” Alex sneered, his nostrils flaring as he went on. “She would hurt me when we were kids, scratching at me and pulling my hair; kicking me and even biting me... Her and her friends were always teasing me, and she always rubbed it in how she was mum and dad's favorite.”  
  
Miles frowned once Alex was finished, his heart aching at the thought of anyone treating such a kind person that way. “That's terrible, baby. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I wish I could go back and erase all of it, so you wouldn't have to go through that.”  
  
Alex blinked slowly, studying Miles as they momentarily sat in silence. “Why do you feel bad for me?” he asked abruptly, making Miles squint his eyes in confusion.  
  
“Because you're too much of a lovely person to have bad things happen. It hurts me knowing that someone else has hurt you.” he answered, brushing his fingertips over Alex's lips.  
  
Alex remained quiet for a short while, his gaze wandering back and forth between Miles' eyes and lips. “Come live with me.” he finally said, much to Miles' surprise.  
  
Miles' eyebrows shot up from the suggestion, he never expected Alex to say something like that, particularly now. “What?”  
  
“Move in with me, I wanna be with you all the time.” Alex replied instantly, as though the idea was something he had been thinking about for a long while.  
  
“Al... I can't just move in with you...” Miles squeaked, gasping quietly as Alex rolled him onto his back so that he could lay on top of him.  
  
“What's stopping you?”  
  
“Be... Bec-cause... It's only been three weeks, we can't do that, it's too soon...” Miles stuttered, unable to think properly when he felt Alex's lips slipping over his earlobe.  
  
“Who says we can't? I love you, Miles. I want you with me.” Alex whispered, and Miles swore he could feel his heart stop beating.  
“You love me?! How could you possibly know that already?” Miles asked incredulously.  
  
Alex kissed Miles' jaw as his hand twisted into his brown locks. “I just do. I'm madly in love with you, Miles. I really am. I've never felt this way about anyone else before. Who cares what anyone else will think or say, I know what we have is real, and I think you do too. You're the one for me.”  
  
Miles sighed dreamily, knowing Alex's sweet talking was getting the better of him, taking over any rational thought in his mind. He knew his friends would think he's crazy for leaping into this, but as he looked up into Alex's molten eyes, he knew what his answer would be before he even voiced it.  
  
“Okay, let's do it. Let's move in together.”  
  
Alex beamed, the way he was staring so lovingly at Miles made him breathless. He knew it was reckless, too spontaneous, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He replayed Alex's confession in his mind, a tape he couldn't stop rewinding over and over until it snapped. He pulled Alex's face down closer so that their foreheads were touching, and despite the nerves he felt, he looked bravely into the Northerner's eyes as he said, “I love you too, Al.”  
  
Nothing could prepare Miles for the overwhelming amount of glee he felt when Alex smiled at his words, and he swore he could actually feel all his love for Alex buzzing in his veins, as though he couldn't contain all of it and would burst at any moment.  
  
He couldn't believe that things were only going to get better from here.  



	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles discovers a few odd behaviors from Alex after moving in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, and hopefully you enjoy!
> 
> [This](https://youtu.be/7jyOjQto22Q) is the song Miles sings towards the end

“American president Lyndon Johnson has announced today that the U.S will resume bombing North Korea as a result of Citing Hanoi's failure to respond to a peace overture. Senator Robert F. Kennedy, younger brother of John Kennedy, has lashed out at the president, stating that this decision will force the U.S to head down a road that will lead to catastrophe for all of mankind. Johnson is reportedly outraged by the statement; undoubtedly putting more strain on the two politicians already disintegrating relationship. This is Richard Baker for BBC News.”  
  
Miles reached for the remote control and switched off the TV, stretching his arms up above his head as he yawned. He pushed himself off of the couch and wandered into the kitchen, finding Alex sitting at the dining room table. He was staring blankly at a glass of water in front of him, his finger slowly tracing over the rim of the cup over and over. He didn't seem to notice when Miles walked into the room, or he simply didn't care. Miles shrugged it off as he walked over to the other man, standing behind him and draping his arms over Alex's shoulders.  
  
“'Bout time you shut that bloody thing off.” Alex muttered, his finger continuing to move in circles as Miles leaned down and kissed the crown of his head.  
  
“I would have sooner but I always get so caught up about that war going on... It's terrifying, you know? I don't understand how anyone could kill other people for a living.” he replied, chewing his lip nervously as he let his mind wander.  
  
Alex pressed back against his chair, shrugging his shoulders as his hand dropped down to the table. “I guess they just have thicker skin than you, love.”  
  
Miles sighed exasperatedly, resting his head on Alex's shoulder so that he could see the Northerner's face. “But don't you think it's wrong? I feel so bad for the casualties.”  
  
Alex tilted his head to the side, his fingers tapping against the glass as he cleared his throat. “Eh, they're only doing what they're trained to do. They all know the risks. So no, I don't feel bad for them, it's their faults for getting involved. Who cares anyway, it's America's problem, not ours.”  
  
“That doesn't mean I can't still worry about all of them.” Miles protested, feeling a bit upset that Alex didn't appear to feel the same way as him about the issue. He decided to drop it, not wanting to ruin their evening with a silly fight. He kissed Alex's cheek, though quickly pulled away when he felt Alex's body stiffen from the affection. He shook his hair out of his eyes and mumbled, “I didn't mean to make you mad, I'm sorry.”  
  
“You didn't, I'm just thinking is all.” Alex responded, making Miles blow out his breath in relief. Alex tended to get lost in his own imagination quite often, and Miles tried to be as understanding of it as he possibly could be. Things had been going good for them since Miles moved into Alex's home, though he soon realized that the other man really did value his solitary moments, often retreating to a shed behind the house. He had told Miles that it was his private area for when he needed time alone, and the Scouser respected it wholeheartedly, never daring to venture inside; or even near it.  
  
“Mm, why don't you come to bed with me, yeah? It's quite cold tonight and I need you to warm me up.” Miles murmured into Alex's ear, his hand sliding down Alex's chest to try and reinforce what he was suggesting.  
  
Alex's mouth twisted, as if he were contemplating the idea, though a sultry smile soon appeared on his face. “Miles Kane, you dirty boy... Alright, then. You owe me a blow job anyway.”  
  
Miles couldn't help but blush from Alex's blunt nature, though it made him even more desperate to get the other man into bed with him. “Yes, Al. I'll make you feel good. I promise I will.”  
  
The eagerness in Miles' tone only made Alex grin wider, his eyes dark and nearly unnerving as he nodded his head. Miles quickly jumped to the side as Alex pushed back his chair, standing up and grabbing Miles by the hand. He nodded in the direction of their bedroom, his gaze fixated on Miles as he said, “Then prove it, baby.”  
  
Miles remained silent, his body beginning to tingle with anticipation as he dragged Alex away towards the bed.  
  
\--------------  
  
Miles had no idea what time it was when he woke up the next day, all he knew was that his head was pounding, and he felt like he was going to be sick. He groaned and rolled onto his side, clutching his stomach as he tried not to throw up right then and there. He knew he needed to cut back on his drinking, his hangovers had been getting worse and worse as of late. He couldn't even remember what he did last night, he only remembered going to bed with Alex and that was it, though even the details of that were fuzzy.  
  
He shook his head and forced himself to get up, trudging down the hall and into the bathroom. He closed the door behind himself and turned the faucet on, cupping his hands underneath the running water and splashing it against his face. He rubbed his hands over his eyes before raising his head up to get a look at himself in the mirror. He looked tired and haggard, his head spinning as he tried to remain standing up. He tried to tell himself in the moment that he'd never drink again, though he knew that was a complete lie. He sighed and shut the water off, opening the door again and slowly walking out to the living room.  
  
Alex was sitting on the couch, with multiple newspapers spread out in front of him on the coffee table. He was flipping through all of them, as though he was trying to find something specific. He never looked up at Miles until he was nearly right beside him, and he pushed his papers aside hastily as he made room for the other man. Miles dropped down onto the couch and whined quietly, laying his head in Alex's lap as he shut his eyes again. He felt Alex's fingers sliding into his hair, the movement soothing him.  
  
“What's wrong, honey?” Alex asked as he rubbed Miles' arm.  
“I just feel a bit shit.” Miles answered, trying to stay awake so he could speak.  
  
Alex didn't say anything in response, only continuing to run his hands over Miles' body. Miles tried to hold back his nausea as he curled himself closer to Alex, seeking his warmth as he inhaled deeply. His eyes scanned over the various newspapers strewn across the table, trying to see if he could catch whatever it was Alex was looking for in them. “What's with all these papers?”  
  
Alex shifted his legs around, the movement of his fingers stopping as he cleared his throat. “Nothing in particular... Just wanting to see if anything interesting has happened lately.”  
  
Miles snorted, burying his face into Alex's thigh and allowed his eyes to close. “I doubt that, nothing exciting happens around here.” he said, his voice muffled.  
  
Alex laughed quietly, going silent again for a brief moment before replying, “You never know, Miles. Sometimes surprises come out of nowhere.”  
  
Miles shrugged and stretched out his legs, yawning as he relaxed his body. He didn't have a response, and so let the conversation drop. He smiled when he felt Alex's fingers once more carding through his hair, and began to feel himself drift off again to the sound of Alex's voice mumbling something to him.  
  
\---------------  
  
It was mid afternoon by the time Miles awoke again, sunlight pouring into the room through the cracks in the blinds. He yawned as he looked around the room, realizing that he was still sprawled out on the couch, though Alex was now absent. He groaned as he sat up, balling his hands into fists and rubbing them against his eyes to try and wake himself up. He glanced at the table and saw that the newspapers were gone, the only thing left behind being an empty coffee cup with cigarette ashes in it.  
  
He sighed and pushed himself up, grabbing the mug in the process as he slowly shuffled into the kitchen. He set the cup down into the sink and felt sick with hunger, and so opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of eggs. He decided to ask Alex if he wanted any food, and set the eggs down onto the counter before leaving the room.  
  
He felt a little lightheaded as he made his way down the hallway, leaning against the wall for support as he dragged his feet across the carpet. He really was beginning to regret ever drinking as much as he did. He saw a beam of light shining down the hall, and realized it was coming from the bathroom as he made it to the end. He saw the door slightly ajar, and quietly walked over and placed his hands on the wooden frame.  
  
He peered inside through the crack, where he saw Alex standing in front of the mirror making a series of strange faces. One minute he was smiling broadly, the crinkles around the edges of his eyes making Miles' heart beat faster, while in the next moment he was frowning as his eyes filled with sorrow. Alex widened his eyes in fear, his mouth forming an 'O' shape, as though he just witnessed something horrifying. The whole scene made Miles curious, and so he pushed the door open all the way, making Alex jump and whirl around to face him.  
  
“Miles! What are you doing awake, love!?” he exclaimed, smiling timidly as his voice rose an octave, like a little boy caught doing something wrong.  
  
“I was just wondering if you wanted something to eat, is all... What were you doing, Al?” Miles asked, stepping forward and gently brushing the hair out of Alex's eyes.  
  
Alex bit down on his bottom lip and shrugged his shoulders. “Sometimes I just like to make silly faces at myself... I dunno, I've done it since I were a kid.”  
  
Miles nodded slowly, accepting Alex's answer since he wasn't sure how else to respond. It seemed innocent enough to him, there were still strange habits he had that he brought from childhood. “Alright, you madman... So, you hungry or not?”  
  
Alex quietly blew out his breath, beaming as he interlocked his fingers with Miles'. “Sounds lovely, but let me cook for you, yeah? It's about time I pull my weight around here.”  
  
Miles laughed and shook his head. “It's your house, Alex, I'm the one who's a guest here and should be doing more chores.”  
  
“You're not a guest, Miles. This is your home too. It's ours.” Alex replied, looking at Miles sternly.  
  
“Alright, alright. It's our home. Now go make me some food.” Miles teased, squealing as Alex raised his brow before picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder. He clung to the back of Alex's t-shirt as he was pulled away to the kitchen.  
  
\-----------------  
  
“I wanna go out with Cam, Alex! I haven't seen him since I moved in, why are you being like this!?” Miles wailed, tears filling his eyes as he watched Alex throw their dirty plates into the sink. He winced at the sound of them smashing to pieces.  
  
“You know how I feel about that bastard, I hate how he thinks he can have you all to himself when you're mine! You belong to me, Miles, not that son of a bitch!” Alex shouted, his eyes wild and his hair beginning to stick to his face. Miles pushed himself against the back of his chair, his best attempt at cowering away from the other man. He had never seen Alex so angry before, he didn't even know he had a temper to begin with. He felt his bottom lip quiver as tears began to stream down his face, unsure of what to say in response. Alex was still standing with his back facing the sink, his hands gripping onto the edges of the counter as he stared Miles down. Miles twisted his hands in his lap as he looked away, staring down at the ground as he spoke softly.  
  
“You know that there's nothing between us, Alex. You're the one I wanna be with, the one I love. I know you were hurt in the past and that you can't help it when you get jealous, but you're scaring me, baby... He's not trying to take anything from you, I've chosen you and that's it. Not to mention that he's straight, as I've told you repeatedly. He's my friend, Alex. I just wanna spend some time with him and the rest of my mates for awhile.”  
  
Alex continued to glare at Miles for a short while, though his gaze finally softened as he took a step closer. “I was just hoping we'd spend the evening together is all... I'm sorry I've frightened you, Miles. Sometimes I let my insecurities get the better of me and I lose my temper. I'm sorry. I just wanted you to stay with me tonight...”  
  
Miles smiled weakly and shook his head, reaching out for Alex's hand as he replied. “I'm always with you, Al. We spend every single night together. Don't get me wrong, I love that, I just want to see my friends tonight. It doesn't mean I wanna leave permanently or that I love you any less.”  
  
Alex slipped Miles' hand into his own, narrowing his eyes as he slowly sat down in the chair next to the other man. “Well why aren't I invited? You're not allowed to bring me or something?” he asked, sounding hurt as Miles leaned forward.  
  
“No, it's not that, it's just you and Cam don't get along and I don't wanna spend the whole night watching you two to make sure you don't kill each other.” Miles insisted, calming down as Alex seemed to be accepting his decision.  
  
“Fine, go out and have fun without me.” Alex said, making Miles roll his eyes and smile fondly.  
  
“Oh, Alex; you little drama queen. I'll only be gone for a few hours, alright? I'll always come home to you.”  
  
Alex remained silent for a moment, and finally relaxed his body as he agreed. Miles could tell he still wasn't happy with the plan, but he would take anything he could get; anything that wasn't the blowup he witnessed minutes ago. He leaned in and kissed Alex's forehead, his thumb rubbing across his cheek before standing up and walking away towards the front door. He turned back around to face Alex, his heart clenching when he saw how saddened the other man looked.  
  
“Only a few hours, love. I promise. I love you.” he said, throwing on his coat and slipping his feet into his shoes as he waited for the other man's reaction.  
  
Alex grimaced, his lips pouting out as he gave a quick nod of his head, refusing to speak at all. Miles felt defeated, knowing that no matter what he said or did, Alex was going to be upset with him. He decided to try and not let it stop him from having fun, and so blew his sulking boyfriend one final kiss before stepping outside into the chilly winter air.  
  
\---------  
  
Miles knew as soon as he met up with Cam, he'd be breaking his promise to never drink again. Despite how off he'd been feeling all day, he was currently downing his fourth beer as he draped his arm over Cam's shoulders, using his body as support to hold himself up. Miles has always been a lightweight, and he never cared to try and control his alcohol intake either, resulting in him frequently becoming a drunken mess.  
  
“Where the fuck have you been, mate? You never see us anymore!” Cam asked, almost shouting over the noise in the bar. Both men knew why, though Cam was clearly feeling more bold as the night wore on.  
  
“I've just been busy, that's all.” Miles lied, hoping he might sound believable, though knowing he hadn't as Cam pursed his lips.  
  
“Bullshit.” was all he said, though it was enough to make Miles groan in despair.  
  
“I miss you! I miss everyone, I really do, just Alex has been wanting to spend time together is all. He gets nervous about me being out, he just likes to protect me.”  
  
Cam laughed bitterly as he grabbed his glass off of the table, knocking the rest of it back before slamming it back down. “He's fucking creepy, Miles. He's controlling and that's why he doesn't want you ever going out, it's not because he loves you and thinks you're so special. He wants to have power over you. He's an abuser. My sister had a boyfriend just like him, I know the type.”  
  
Miles' eyes widened in shock, his blood filling with fury as he ripped away from Cam's side. “He's not like that!! I'll have you know that he's never laid a hand on me, he treats me good!” Miles insisted, his fingers digging into his own thigh as he tried to calm down.  
  
“Yet. He hasn't yet. But he will, I can promise you that. Get the hell away from him while you still can, Miles. I'm serious. Leave him.” Cam warned him, though it fell upon deaf ears as Miles went into a rage.  
  
“I thought you of all people would be happy for me, but instead you're just mad, because what-, that I'm not around to provide a house for your fucking parties anymore!? Is that it? Fuck off, Alex isn't this monster that you seem to think he is!” he fumed, his voice getting louder and shriller as he spoke. He didn't care who heard them, he was too infuriated by Cam's accusations to care. “In fact, I think I should be heading back home to him now.”  
  
Cam was quick to follow Miles as he stormed away, using a back exit leading into an empty alleyway. He stumbled and fell to the ground, groaning as he scraped his cheek against the cold concrete. Cam kneeled down to try and pull Miles back up, though the other man shrugged him off. His will to fight was near nonexistent, and so he weakly slapped at the air to try and get Cam away. The other man laughed and rolled Miles onto his back before standing up and offering out his hand. Miles begrudgingly accepted, sputtering to himself under his breath as he attempted to stand up, wobbling as he did.  
  
“I'm sorry, mate. What I said was uncalled for. If you're happy with Alex... Then I won't try and tell you otherwise. I'm glad you care about him as much as you do.” Cam said gently, trying to ease the hurtful words he had spoken earlier. He wasn't convinced at all that what he said wasn't true, but he wasn't willing to lose his friend over it.  
  
Miles sniffed and wiped the back of his hand over his nose, scrunching it up and making the both of them laugh. “It's okay, I know you mean well. But he's so sweet, Cam. He's perfect. Maybe you can come over soon and you can start over. I don't like my best mate and my boyfriend loathing each other this way.”  
  
“Yeah, Mi... That would be great.” Cam responded, hoping he sounded convincing as he slowly led the way out of the alley and back into the bar.  
  
\--------------  
  
Miles parked his car in front of his home and shut off the engine, knowing he would be propelled into nothing but black the moment he did. He opened the car door and tumbled out; he couldn't manage to get himself to stand back up, and so crawled his way through snow and dirt up to the front door. He kept telling himself that next time he did this, he needed to remember to switch the porch light on. Once he made it to the door, he twisted the knob and pushed it open, crawling into the house and kicking the door shut. He heard something clanking in the bathroom, though didn't bother going to see what it was. Instead, exhausted from his trek to get inside, he laid out on his back in the middle of the living room, his eyes drooping as he heard footsteps coming towards him.  
  
“Miles!? What are you doing?” Alex asked, crouching down and resting his hand on Miles' forehead.  
  
Miles began laughing hysterically, the sound of it echoing throughout the room as Alex stared down at him confusedly. “What, love? Had too much to drink, I see...”  
  
_'He hit me and it felt like a kiss; he hit me and I knew he loved me. If he didn't care for me, I could have never made him mad. But he hit me and I was glad!' _Miles sang, giggling in between words while Alex's eyebrows shot up.__  
  
“What the hell kind of garbage are you singing, Miles?” he asked incredulously, his eyes searching Miles' face until stopping at the cut across his cheek.  
  
“Did someone touch you? I swear to god if someone did I'm going to fucking hunt them down and-”  
  
“Aly! No! Nobody hurt me, I fell on the ground somewhere. Behind the bar I think. I don't know, Cam helped me up.” Miles interrupted, not wanting the other man to get the wrong idea.  
  
Alex mouth twisted as he stood back up, pulling Miles up with him by the fabric of his shirt. “I see. It's nearly four in the morning, Miles. You told me you'd only be gone for a few hours, I was worried sick about you! And you got hurt, poor baby... Cam should be taking better care of you.”  
  
Miles giggled deliriously, dragging his hands down the front of Alex's shirt and noticing dark stains all over it. “What happened to this?”  
  
Alex grunted and scooped Miles up into his arms, shaking his head from the way Miles chuckled, though he couldn't help but eventually smile. He walked into their bedroom and dropped Miles down onto the bed, tugging the Scouser's shirt off and tossing it on the floor. Miles grinned and laid out on the bedspread, wiggling his eyebrows as he murmured, “You wanna get down and dirty, Turner? You could have your way with me, I'd let you...”  
  
The corner's of Alex's lips twitched as he eyed Miles up and down, considering his proposition before sighing heavily. “Mm, tempting... Not tonight darling, you're absolutely pissed. Can't have you crying rape on me now.” he said, unzipping Miles' trousers and tugging them down his legs so that he would sleep more comfortably.  
  
“I wouldn't do that... Hey, get this, Cam says you're gonna abuse me someday. That won't happen, right, Alex?” Miles asked, going silent from the way Alex tensed up.  
  
“Is that right?” he replied, his voice soft and cold. He dropped Miles' pants to the ground and motioned for him to get under the covers, pulling them up to the other man's chin once he did.  
  
“I'm sorry he feels that way about me. I've no ill will towards you or anyone else. I love you, Miles. You know that. I'm never gonna hurt you.”  
  
“I know, Alex. I just thought it was so silly that he said that! He's too much sometimes.” Miles said, yawning as he snuggled himself into the sheets. He smiled when he felt Alex's fingers brushing back his hair, his lips pressing down against his forehead in a brief kiss.  
  
“Is that why you were singing that song?” he asked quietly, blinking slowly as he laid his head down on Miles' chest.  
  
Miles nodded his head as his eyes closed, yawning again as he said, “Yeah, the whole thing was weird. I told him you're better than that, though.”  
  
Alex smiled apprehensively, his fingers trailing down Miles' throat and resting there. “Of course I am. Now get some sleep, love. I'll get some medicine for your cut in the morning.”  
  
Miles hummed in acknowledgment, sleepily mumbling once more, “What's on your shirt, Al?”  
  
“Paint, I couldn't fall asleep with you gone and so I decided to fix up the bathroom.”  
  
Miles was satisfied with the answer, the thought of him and Alex building their dream home together one day filling his thoughts and sweetly lulling him to sleep.  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex takes Miles home to Sheffield, where Alexa sheds new light on Alex's past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the wait!!!! Thank you for being patient with me!  
> Enjoy!
> 
> [Song played in the beginning](https://youtu.be/qTSJTJ6lOZM)

Miles pressed his forehead against Alex's car window, his eyes blurring as he tried to watch the scenery pass them by. He grimaced from the ache in his head, his stomach churning as he knotted his fingers together. He was always told that he made good first impressions, but that didn't help ease the anxiety he felt over meeting Alex's family. Miles was anticipating them to be dreadful people, from everything he had heard about them. Alex wasn't thrilled about the get together whatsoever, but after much persistence from his mother, he folded and agreed.  
  
Miles was glad that at least the weather was turning around, with the sun shining and flowers beginning to bloom. Alex even had the windows down, and Miles found himself sneaking glances at the other man so that he could see his mop of hair blowing in the wind. Alex had his sunglasses on, and his mouth formed a long, grim line across his face. He hadn't spoken in about an hour, and it was making Miles a bit nervous. He couldn't stand the silence any longer, and so reached out to turn the radio on.  
  
_'...When I feel blue; in the night and I need you...' ___  
  
He smiled to himself when he heard the song playing, having remembered dancing to it with an old girlfriend in grade school. He took a peek over in Alex's direction, unsure on how the other man would react. He never seemed too interested in music, even though he was quite enthusiastic about it when they first met. He especially didn't care for hit singles. Still, Miles couldn't help but reach over and push a lock back behind the Northerner's ear as he sang along with the radio.  
  
_'I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine; anytime, night or day...' ___  
  
Alex pursed his lips as Miles continued to sing, the eye roll he gave towards the song having gone unnoticed behind his dark glasses. He tensed up as he felt Miles' fingers skim across his cheek, and pulled his face away and out of reach. He peered out of the side of his glasses and noticed a frown on Miles' face, his singing dying out as he twisted his mouth and turned back towards the window. Alex sighed softly, prompting another eye roll out of himself before eventually deciding to at least humor the other man.  
  
_'...I need you so; that I could die, I love you so.' ___  
  
He knew he sounded bored and monotonous, but he at least managed to make Miles smile and look his way again.  
  
Miles reached out and placed his hand on Alex's thigh, biting his lip as he slid his body across the seat so that he was pressed against his boyfriend. He laid his head down on Alex's shoulder, his eyes closing as he felt Alex drop his right hand down from the steering wheel and into his lap. His fingers threaded through Miles', and he couldn't help but surround Alex's hand with both of his own. He nuzzled his face into Alex's neck, staying quiet for a few seconds before mumbling, “I love you, Al.”  
  
It took a moment for Miles to receive any response out of Alex, though much to his relief, he finally felt Alex's lips pressing against his forehead; with hair tickling his face. A faint squeeze to Miles' hand made his heart flutter, even if it was a bit halfhearted, and he smiled to himself as Alex drawled, “I love you too, Miles.”  
  
_“All I have to do is dream. Dream, dream dream; dream...” ___  
  
\---------------------  
  
“Of course, Alexa's fucking here. Perfect.” Alex seethed, cutting the engine off as he gripped onto the steering wheel. Miles looked towards the only other car sitting in the driveway, then towards the front door. He gave a gentle pat to Alex's shoulder before opening his door and getting out. He stretched his arms above his head as he waited for Alex to follow his lead, though stood awkwardly for longer than he expected until the other man finally did come out. If he was completely honest, he thought Alex was being a bit over dramatic about the whole thing, though he certainly wasn't going to voice those thoughts. He had gotten enough glares on the drive over, he didn't need it happening again.  
  
“It's not gonna be that bad, Al. I'll be here with you.” Miles said, trying to comfort the other man. Alex looked his way, raising a brow before slamming his door shut. He bounded up the walkway, leaving Miles to follow behind him as he banged his fist against the door. Once Miles had made it up the steps, he pressed his back against the railing, feeling an unfamiliar tension between himself and the Northerner. He jumped when the door suddenly swung open, revealing a tall, thin young woman with chestnut brown hair pulled back into a messy bun. She looked a bit similar to Alex, though she had bright blue eyes rather than his dark brown. He figured it must be the sister, this being confirmed as they greeted each other.  
  
“Hello Alexander; here for that yearly visit back home, I see. And you brought a er... Friend.” she said, and Miles noted that her accent was far more tame than Alex's, as though she taught herself how to control it.  
  
Alex declined to reply, instead pursing his lips as he pushed past her without a word, leaving Miles alone on the front stoop with the woman. She looked back at him as he wandered off into the house, and soon rolled her eyes as she held her hand out towards Miles. “I'm Alexa, by the way. And I swear our mum taught us much better manners than that.” she assured him, making him smile weakly and take her hand into his own.  
  
“Pleasure; I'm Miles. He's normally not like this... He's been quite moody the past couple of days.”  
  
Alexa scoffed and looked at him as though he had two heads. “When is he ever not like that? You must be joking.”  
  
Miles laughed softly, shaking his head as he dragged the heel of his shoe against the concrete step. “He can be real sweet sometimes; though not so much lately. But I think he's stressed out about something.” he rambled, realizing he may have said too much as he gauged Alexa's reaction.  
  
She stuck out her chin and nodded knowingly, patting Miles on the shoulder as she leaned in closer. “Don't worry, we all know about him. You're not the first bloke he's brought home. He changes lovers about as often as he changes his knickers; though you're probably the first he's ever stayed with for any significant amount of time. At least long enough for us to remember your name.”  
  
“Oh?” Miles questioned, rubbing the back of his neck as he took this information in. Alex hadn't flat out said that Miles was the first person he'd ever introduced to his family, but he certainly made a strong implication of it.  
  
As if he knew he was being discussed, Alex suddenly stepped back into Miles' vision as he neared the front door. He glared over at his sister before shifting his scorn towards the Scouser. “Miles, inside; now.” he growled, lifting his hand midair and motioning towards the other man. Just as Miles dutifully began stepping forward, Alexa chose to interrupt.  
  
“Why are you talking to him like that? Stop bossing him around!” she exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest and looking towards Alex expectantly.  
  
Alex's nostrils flared as he came closer, until he was stood in the doorway of his parent's home. “I'll do whatever the fuck I want to, and I strongly suggest you stay out of it.” he warned, his hand gripping onto the frame of the doorway as he looked back at Miles. “Besides, I'm just concerned about Miles being cold, it's not as warm as it was earlier.”  
  
He held his arm out, his hand open and waiting to clasp onto Miles'. “Come here, baby. I've got some tea inside for you; just the way you like it.” he cooed, his voice soft and sweet; something Miles hadn't heard in quite awhile.  
  
Miles looked over at Alexa sheepishly, and deep down he felt a bit embarrassed over how willing he was to do anything Alex told him. Still, he didn't let that interfere, and so he slid his fingers between the spaces of Alex's and allowed himself to be led away. He glanced behind his shoulder a final time, catching a glimpse of a concerned looking Alexa as he felt Alex's hold around his hand tighten.  
  
\--------------------  
  
“And this is my old bedroom; still looks the same, even.” Alex said. He'd been giving Miles a tour of his parent's home as they waited for dinner to be ready, and he had seemed eager to make his way to this particular spot. Miles looked all around, seeing posters and an old bed; even clothes piled up on a chair in the corner. He took a step forward, his hand sliding across the top of a wooden desk as he tried to imagine a teenage Alex inhabiting the space. The photographs Alex's mother Penny had shown him earlier made it better for him to visualize, now knowing that his boyfriend was a bit of a lanky kid with acne and a choppy haircut.  
  
Miles jumped as he felt arms wrapping around his torso, and warm breath hitting his nape. He smiled as Alex started kissing his neck, strands of his hair brushing against Miles' cheek as he whispered, “I want you to suck me off; been wanting it all day.” He sunk his teeth into the side of Miles' neck, making him gasp and grip onto the edge of the desk.  
  
“Al... Not here, your family is downstairs...” Miles replied, his voice shaking as he felt Alex's fingers digging into his hips. “Anybody could catch us...”  
  
“Mm I know, baby; that's what makes it so exciting, yeah? Come on, Miles. Make me feel good.” he pushed, grinding his growing erection against Miles' backside in hopes of convincing the other man to see things his way.  
  
Miles moaned quietly; his cheeks turning pink as he actually considered Alex's request. He didn't feel entirely comfortable with the idea, but he was determined not to let the Northerner down. The notion of saying no was beginning to appear less and less appealing as he began to feel Alex's hand rubbing against the front of his trousers. So, rather than continue to put up a fight, he sighed and turned around to face the other man, giving himself up as Alex pulled him in for a kiss.  
  
It didn't take long for Miles to feel hands on his shoulders; pushing him down onto his knees as Alex stood leaning against his old desk. He was quick to loosen his belt and unbutton his pants, his eyes lingering on Miles' face for a moment before tugging down the zipper. He held onto the edge of the table with both hands, pushing his hips forward as he waited impatiently for Miles to take over.  
  
“I'm waiting, Kane. Give me what I want.”  
  
Alex only used his last name when he really meant business, and so Miles wasted no time to answer his demands. His fingers slid underneath the band of Alex's underwear, leaning in and kissing his lower stomach as he slowly pulled the undergarments down Alex's thighs. Alex blew out his breath, his hand twisting into Miles' hair as he murmured, “That's it, baby. Just a little bit lower.”  
  
Miles looked over his shoulder at the closed door, feeling hesitant once again. He really didn't think he should go through with this, and he almost winced from the way Alex snarled, “I'm not going to tell you again, Miles.”  
  
“I'm just scared someone is going to catch us, the idea of it is horrifying.” Miles protested, peering up through his lashes as he chewed nervously on his bottom lip. Alex sighed, his touch getting softer as he cupped Miles' face between his hands. “If we hear someone, we'll stop. Come on, baby; don't disappoint me... Be my good boy.”  
  
Alex's thumb skimmed across Miles' cheek, and he finally regained his confidence in the situation. Of course he was being silly, obviously they would stop if they heard something. He doubted Alex would want his dear old mother catching them in the act. He blew out his breath as he tugged Alex's pants and underwear down at the same time, just enough for the Northerner's hardened cock to be released. He rested his hands on Alex's thighs, licking his lips before taking one last glance at the door. He heard Alex groan, and he knew it was out of irritation, rather than pleasure.  
  
Alex took hold of his length with one hand and tapped the tip against Miles' lips, trying to push himself past them as he growled, “Suck on it, Miles. I'm fucking tired of waiting.”  
  
Miles opened his mouth at that, deciding to just close his eyes and pretend that they were at home, anywhere but here. Alex was gradually becoming more and more aggressive during sex, and he really wasn't sure how that was possible. Still, he did as he was told and sucked on the tip of Alex's cock, his tongue gliding over the slit and collecting precome. He concentrated on the way Alex reacted, on his soft moans and sighs; on how hard he pulled on Miles' hair. He let Alex push his head down further, taking more down his throat as he sucked eagerly.  
  
“See baby? I knew you wanted this just as much as I did. I know how much you love sucking cock. I bet you wouldn't even care if someone caught us, you greedy little slag.” Alex said, his voice husky as he thrust his hips forward, making Miles gag and grunt. He smiled triumphantly and repeated the action, his groaning starting to increase in volume.  
  
Miles moaned around Alex's length, pulling back so that he could wrap a hand around it. He stroked up and down as he began sucking faster, wanting to satisfy the other man as fast as he could. He reminded himself to relax his throat as Alex continued to buck forward, realizing that he must be getting close from the way his cock twitched in Miles' mouth. His lashes fluttered as he opened his eyes, looking up at Alex as innocently as possible in hopes of finishing him off. His plan seemed to work; the moment their eyes locked, Alex let out a loud groan, and Miles tasted the first spurt of come hit the back of his throat.  
  
Alex repeatedly cursed under his breath as he came, a wicked smile on his face as Miles made sure to swallow everything he gave. Miles pulled his mouth off with a soft pop; slumping forward as he rested his head against Alex's thigh. He felt so drained, emotionally more than anything. He couldn't explain where it was coming from, he adored Alex and always wanted to make him happy. Sometimes he just wondered if the Northerner was a bit too impulsive for him to be able to keep up. Still, he knew he wouldn't change things for the world.  
  
“Boys, are you up there? Dinner is ready!” Penny called from the bottom of the staircase, making Miles pull away instantaneously before jumping onto his feet. Alex laughed and licked his lips, winking before lazily reaching down to tuck himself back into his underwear. “Be down in a minute, mum!” he shouted back.  
  
He fixed his clothes and made sure nothing was out of place before standing up straight. He reached out and smoothed down Miles' hair, noticing that most of it was sticking out. He leaned in and kissed Miles quickly, biting down on his bottom lip as he pulled away. He laughed again, looking Miles up and down before reaching around and slapping his ass; making Miles' eyes widen as he jumped out of surprise. “I'll deal with you later, baby. You deserve a reward for being so obedient.”  
  
Miles nodded slowly, his mind blank as he forced a smile and let Alex drag him away back down the stairs.  
  
\-----------------------  
  
Dinner was noticeably awkward for Miles to sit through; Alex and his sister proceeded to make digs towards each other for the entirety of it while their parents sat in silence. He was also about ninety-nine percent sure that Alexa knew what the two of them were doing while they were upstairs, making him feel embarrassed beyond belief. He couldn't help but wonder just how many ex lovers of Alex's had been up there with him before. He knew he certainly wasn't the first like he had been led to believe.  
  
Alex kept a hand on Miles' thigh during the course of their meal; occasionally smirking over at him with a gleam in his eye. Miles squirmed in his seat as he suddenly felt Alex's hand slide further and further up his leg; quickly shaking his head 'no' as he felt fingers brushing over the front of his slacks. His eyes widened as he heard the faint sound of his zipper being pulled down, and he stared at Alex with a pleading look in his eye. He couldn't believe this was happening, especially after he made such an ordeal out of them being upstairs. Surely Alex wasn't daft enough to try something right at the dinner table?  
  
He was proven wrong as Alex slid his hand down the inside of Miles' pants, rubbing gently as he continued to eat as though nothing was happening. Miles looked around the table, trying to see if anyone noticed what they were up to while he tried not to blatantly panic. Alex began moving his hand faster, and Miles quickly resorted to swatting his hand away. Alex turned to stare at him, his mouth slightly agape; as though he was surprised that he was being denied. His eyes narrowed as he begrudgingly pulled his hand out of Miles' trousers, his mouth twisting in disapproval before turning back to his plate of food.  
  
He didn't look Miles' way again until everyone was finished; his mother gathering up the dishes and going to the kitchen, while his father retired to his study. Alexa was quick to jump up and leave the two of them alone, probably a way to end the insufferable arguing between her and her brother. That familiar feeling of tension that Miles had noticed earlier made a reappearance, and he lowered his gaze to the floor as Alex finally turned towards him. He soon reverted to staring upwards as Alex stood up from his seat, placing a hand on the table while the other rested on the back of Miles' chair. He leaned in close, his warm breath fanning over Miles' cheeks as he said, “What the fuck was that?”  
  
Miles gulped as his breathing sped up, his anxiety blowing through the roof as he whispered, “I didn't want you to do that in front of your family. It makes me feel uncomfortable.”  
  
“It was for your benefit, Miles; I promised to return the favor and yet you push me away. Don't you want me to be good to you? Shouldn't you be grateful?” Alex asked, his eyes dark and unreadable. Miles felt like he was a child being scolded; he felt so small. He tried to sink down lower in his seat.  
  
“I'm grateful, of course I am! I love you, I love everything you do for me... I just would rather we do stuff like that somewhere private; preferably in our own home.”  
  
Alex cocked his jaw, his eyes narrowing. “I don't like being told no.”  
  
Miles sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, his heart hammering in his chest. “Why are you making this such a big deal? I have a right to say no, don't I?! You're not a damned rapist, Alex; please stop acting this way. You're worrying me, Al.”  
  
Miles nearly jumped when he heard Alex begin to snicker; his eyes crinkling around the edges as he flashed a full on grin. “I'm just joking around, Miles. You don't need to take everything so seriously. I just wanted to have a little fun, that's all. Calm down.”  
  
Relief flooded Miles' body as he suddenly heard Penny shouting from the kitchen, “Alex! Will you please give me a hand with the dishes?”  
  
He tilted his face up as Alex cupped his jaw; giving him a quick, chaste kiss before muttering, “Lighten up, baby. Be back in a bit.” And with that, he was gone.  
  
Miles felt confused and unsure about the whole conversation, he didn't find anything funny about it, and couldn't really see how it could be interpreted as such. Although Alex's sense of humor was quite strange; perhaps that really is all it was. Maybe Alex was right, he really should lighten up. He didn't feel much like sitting around at the table, and so stood up and wandered into the living room, finding Alexa curled up in a chair with a magazine. She glanced up when she saw him, smiling and offering for him to join her. He happily accepted the invitation, not wanting to be left alone.  
  
“So, Miles; how long have you and Alex been seeing each other?” she asked, setting down her magazine and giving him her full attention.  
  
“Erm.. About six months. We met at a party. Al came for some free beer even though he didn't know anybody.” Miles replied, smiling faintly at the memory. That seemed so long ago, now. Almost a different world.  
  
Alexa snorted, tucking a stray hair back behind her ear as she shifted in her seat. “Sounds about right. Hm. That's the longest he's ever stayed with anyone. You must have some kind of hold on him.”  
  
Miles couldn't help but really smile then, Alex really meant it when he said that they belonged together. Alexa caught onto the mood, surprising the both of them by smiling as well. “I'm glad he found somebody, then. Oddly enough, I'm happy for him. I really am. For the both of you. I just...” she trailed off, making Miles lean in closer.  
  
“You just what?”  
  
Alexa sighed as she clasped her hands together in her lap. “I just think he doesn't treat you quite as well as he should. He talks down to you... I mean, he's done that with everyone he's ever been with, but it's sad seeing him repeating the pattern with someone like you. You're clearly smitten with him.”  
  
“I love him.” Miles corrected, starting to feel a bit defensive. “And he loves me. We just fight sometimes, like every couple does. Maybe he wouldn't be so bad at relationships if his parents and sister didn't treat him as poorly as they did.” he jabbed, though Alexa was quick to lash back.  
  
“What?! You've got to be joking, surely! We've never treated him badly, it was the other way around, actually. He's always been the favorite! Incredibly smart, mum and dad loved gloating about their brilliant boy to anybody who would listen. They've always looked the other way with him, no matter how cold and demeaning he could be. Downright cruel sometimes.” she cried, her hands balling up into fists as she fumed from Miles' accusation.  
  
Miles stared at her blankly, his face heating up as he became more confused by the second. “But... He said you were the favorite. That everyone always picked on him... He said you in particular were nasty.” he stuttered, his head trying to process what he was hearing.  
  
Alexa laughed bitterly, reaching over and taking a swig from her wine glass as she crossed her legs. “Miles, he's fooled you, let's get that right. Up to the same tricks as always. Alex was a bloody demon of a child, always getting into trouble at school. He'd spit on the other kids, shove them, throw rocks, beat them with sticks... He used to drag the girls around by their hair, and he'd laugh while they screamed for him to stop. He thought it was funny. He once repeatedly slammed my face against the table because I ate his last Gobstopper.”  
  
Miles shook his head, unbelieving. She couldn't be talking about the same Alex- his Al would never do such horrid things. “That can't be, he would never...”  
  
“Oh yes he would, and he has. He was expelled from three different schools. It got no better in secondary school, there he would just use his fists. He started robbing liquor stores during that time too. He was always stealing money from my parents, and taking their car and disappearing for days."  
  
Miles felt his whole body go numb; closing his eyes as he struggled to breathe. None of this sounded like the Alex he knew. It just didn't add up in his mind. But why would Alexa lie? He knew they disliked each other, but he didn't think she would go to such extremes just to get back at him. He realized that his body was beginning to shake. Alexa noticed, and she reached over and gently placed her hand over his.  
  
“I'm sorry that I told you all this, but you have a right to know. Clearly he's been hiding things from you. But... He's not all bad... I suppose... You love him, right? I'm sure you've ignited something in him that he doesn't show us. And I don't think he's really gotten into trouble since the stalking issues.” she said, trying to comfort him as best as she could.  
  
Miles' eyes shot open then, his stomach dropping as he whispered, “The what...?”  
  
Alexa smiled meekly and shrugged. “He got caught stalking a few girls when he was about eighteen, I believe. He'd look through their windows and follow them around. He got in real trouble when he broke into one of their houses and just... Watched her sleep. They said he got into her bed and laid with her and everything. She woke up and caught him. He went to jail for a few months for that one. But I think he stopped after that. Now he's just a bit of a bastard, isn't he?”  
  
Miles felt bile rising up into his throat, his eyes glossing over as his hands began to tremble. It suddenly hit him. Alex really was there that night of his party. It had to be.  
  
Alexa opened her mouth to say more, though stopped once she saw Alex step into the doorway. She immediately pulled her hand away from Miles, clearing her throat as she smiled timidly. “So... Mum's got you acting all domestic, hm?” she said, trying to ease the tension building up around them.  
  
Alex stared icily, though his gaze soon flickered over to where Miles was silently shaking. “What the fuck, Alexa?!” he seethed, his eyes almost black as he quickly walked over to Miles' side. “What's wrong, baby? What happened?” he murmured, kissing over Miles' face as he tried pulling him closer.  
  
Miles couldn't speak, he felt paralyzed as he tried to fully understand everything Alexa had shared. His fear overtook him, and he didn't put up any kind of fight when Alex pulled him out of his chair and into his arms. He felt warmth surrounding him, and remained passive and compliant. “Miles, sweetheart? Tell me what's wrong so I can make it all better.”  
  
“I want to go home.” Miles mumbled, finally finding his voice as he zoned out.  
  
Alex glared at his sister and nodded, kissing Miles' cheek as he raked his fingers through the Scouser's hair. “Alright baby, go wait for me in the car. I'll be there in a minute.”  
  
Miles walked away without another word, knowing how rude it was of him to not even say goodbye. He couldn't bring himself to face anyone right then. He could always ring Mrs. Turner in the morning and thank her. He grabbed his coat and quietly shuffled out the door, leaving Alex alone with his sister.  
  
“What was that shit about, Alexa?! I've never seen him like that before.” Alex growled, stepping closer so that he was standing right in front of her.  
  
She shrugged, smiling sweetly at him as she flipped the page of her magazine. “I only told him the truth, that was all.”  
Alex's arm twitched at his side, his eyes boring into Alexa as he leaned down, so that she was trapped. “Truth about what, might I ask?”  
  
“About you. Everything you neglected to tell him about yourself, and correcting his previous assumptions that we were the bad guys.” She said, raising her brow as she silently challenged him. “It's a shame that you're still playing the victim card, rather than just owning up to your past.”  
  
Alex gritted his teeth, his fingers digging into the armrests of the chair as he inched closer. “You know Alexa, you're really lucky that you're my sister.”  
  
She rolled her eyes as she asked, “Why's that?”  
Alex smiled then, a bit lopsided with no joy to be found behind it. “Because I'd shut you the fuck up.”  
Alexa laughed, her eyes wide as she pretended to be frightened. “Ooh, Alex, you've got me shaking in my boots. What, you'd hit me?”  
  
“Something like that...” he murmured, laughing in the back of his throat as he stood back up straight. “Lucky, lucky girl...” he muttered to himself, not bothering to say goodbye as he walked out of the house.  
  
\------------------------  
  
Miles was sat on the hood of the car, staring down at the ground as he heard footsteps on the pavement. He didn't bother looking up, he knew it was Alex. He could see his boots out of the corner of his eye, stopping beside him. The two remained silent for a moment, and Miles was surprised to find himself being the first to speak.  
  
“You lied to me. You were the one...” he trailed off, shaking his head as he rocked back and forth. “You were in my house that night. Just like I thought.”  
  
“Oh Miles, come on; no I wasn't. I didn't know you then, I swear. I really mean it. Look... My childhood was messy, yes. I was ashamed of it. You're just so perfect and I didn't want you to know what I was like and leave me. I didn't wanna lose you. I still don't.” Alex said, his voice gentle and smooth. It gave Miles goosebumps. “But that's not me anymore, baby. It really isn't. Have I ever physically harmed you?”  
  
“No...” Miles mumbled; taking a quick peek over at Alex then and catching his gaze. He thought he saw sincerity in the Northerner's eyes, but at this point he really couldn't be sure anymore. He knew he felt his heart melting, and he definitely knew that he was way too soft. “You promise you've changed?”  
  
Alex smiled then, the one that made Miles fully aware of just how much of a sucker he was; how love-struck. He nodded his head, licking his lips as he rubbed his thumb against the side of Miles' hand. “I promise, baby.”  
  
Miles wanted to forgive him then, but knew there was one more thing that had been eating at him. “Why have you been so cold towards me, lately? You rarely smile, I'm lucky if you let me touch you... You've barely kissed me. Tonight is the most affectionate you've been in weeks. What did I do?”  
  
Alex sighed, sitting down on top of the hood next to Miles, so that their shoulders were pressed together. “I just... Didn't want to bring you here. This city holds a lot of bad memories, I don't like coming home. And of course the disaster with my sister, I was worried about that too. I guess I took it out on you, baby; and I'm sorry. I love you.”  
  
Alex smiled at him, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. Miles didn't think much of it, he knew he really wasn't much of an emotional man. Instead he accepted the apology happily, knowing that no matter what Alex did, he could never remain angry at him.  



	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I apologize for taking so long to post this. And I promise things are gonna start picking up soon.. :)
> 
> Enjoy!<3
> 
> [This](http://68.media.tumblr.com/b07b488c2c0f8470c79158e402d6977d/tumblr_ogsbw16dUQ1vagb8yo1_500.jpg) is the picture Miles takes of Alex

Miles inhaled deeply as he took in the smell of the lake in front of him, feeling waves drifting over his bare feet as he closed his eyes. It wasn't too warm out, but he couldn't help but at least stand on the edge of the shore. An incoming breeze swept his hair from side to side, and he'd never felt more peaceful. The cold air brought goosebumps to his skin, though he didn't intend to move out of the water. His eyes opened back up so that he could photograph the moment, reaching for the Polaroid camera hanging from around his neck. He snapped a few shots, careful to grab hold of the photos before they dropped into the lake as he took a step back.  
  
He looked towards his left, seeing Alex perched up on top of a hill facing the water. One leg dangled over the edge, while the opposite one was drawn up to his chest, with his arms wrapped around it. He was staring up at the sky, watching as clouds slowly rolled in. Miles couldn't help but lift up his camera and take a quick picture of the other man before he noticed. He shook it as soon as it was spat out of the camera, eager to see how it turned out. It only took a moment for it to develop, and Miles lifted it up to his face so he could get a better look.  
  
The way the sun hit made it look as though Alex was illuminated, highlighting his outline and making his features appear sharper. His Adam's apple was jutting out, the curve of his neck almost making Miles' mouth water. He sighed and looked closer, noting the pensive expression on Alex's face, as though he wasn't even on the same planet. He'd readily admit how beautiful the Northerner looked in it, even with how solemn he was. He never could manage to capture a photo of Alex smiling, despite his many attempts. He knew he certainly wasn't going to get one by request.  
  
He spent the next few minutes just staring at the photograph, more in awe rather than anything else; his fingertips skimming over it gently. He jumped when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, and he clutched the picture to his chest so that he wouldn't drop it. He whipped around to see Alex looking at him intently, a hint of curiosity in his eyes as he leaned in closer. “What's that?” he asked, and Miles shook his head as his cheeks flushed.  
  
“Nothing, just some pictures I took.” Miles quickly replied.  
  
“Let me see.” Alex said, holding out his hand so that Miles could give them over. He did with a sigh, feeling nervous as he passed the photos onto Alex.  
  
Alex flipped through them, seemingly uninterested in any of the ones Miles took of the water. He stopped once he got to the one of himself, staring at it intently before making a slight grimace. He handed them back to Miles without a word, instead brushing past him so that he could step closer to the lake. He stood with his hands in his coat pockets, remaining still as strands of his hair blew across his face. Miles cocked his head when he saw the other man bending down, grabbing something out of the water and holding it in the palm of his hand.  
  
He opened his hand back up and revealed a rock, holding it up closer so that he could examine it. He turned towards Miles, the corner of his mouth lifting into a wry smile before tossing the rock back towards the water, making it skip across before eventually sinking down. Miles had been holding his breath as the scene played out, though blew it all out in relief once he realized Alex's intentions. Ever since the visit to Sheffield, he had been a little wary of what Alex might do.  
  
He watched as Alex tilted his head, turning it slightly as he watched the sun beginning to set. He looked absolutely stunning from this angle, from the way the light hit him. Miles tried to be sneaky as he reached for his camera, lifting it up to his eye so that he could get what he wanted. He thought he might get away with it, until the very last second when Alex turned towards him, looking directly into the lens as Miles took the photo. He lowered the camera back down slowly, embarrassed about being caught. Alex remained silent, watching passively as Miles pulled the picture out and shook it.  
  
Once it was developed, Miles turned it his way to get a look. He almost gasped when he saw it, unsure how else to react. Alex certainly looked lovely, though in a haunting way. The sun splayed across the left half of his face, how vivid the waves were behind him. His green jacket clearly a few sizes too big for him, almost enveloping his entire body. His hair strewn about, out of place in testament to the wind that day. But the thing that struck Miles the most was Alex's face. His hair covered almost all of his eyes, with the exception of one peering through some strands of hair. The look he held in them made Miles' skin prickle, how infinitely black and lifeless they appeared to be. Cold. Empty.  
  
Miles gulped as he looked back towards Alex, standing in front of him and watching his face carefully. He heard a small laugh in the back of Alex's throat, though there was no smile to accompany it. He reached out and gingerly plucked the photo out of Miles' hand, glancing down at it briefly before handing it back. “'Suppose I'm not the greatest model, eh?” he murmured, his brow raising as Miles ignored him, stuffing all of his photos into the pocket of his jacket.  
  
Their eyes met, and Miles was relieved to see that they no longer looked so hollow. He saw a trace of humor in them, easing the tension out of Miles' body. He reached out and grabbed onto the lapels of Alex's coat; tilting his face and kissing the other man softly. “No, I guess you're not. Shame, what with that pretty face of yours and all. Decent body too.”  
  
Alex smirked, his hand grasping onto the back of Miles' neck as he asked, “Just decent?”  
“Gorgeous, handsome, sexy... The works.” Miles continued, deciding to stroke Alex's ego just a little bit more.  
“Mm, good.” he replied, seemingly satisfied as he kissed Miles' temple and began leading them away back to the car.  
  
\-------------------  
  
As soon as they had stepped inside, Alex tossed his car keys onto a nearby table and stalked off to the kitchen, not bothering to remove his shoes or coat. Miles figured it was probably to get a drink, and he sighed as he shrugged out of his jacket and hung it up on the rack. He noticed that the light on their answering machine was flashing, and so he bolted over so that he could listen. He turned the volume down before pressing play, leaning in closer so that he could hear it. He was both shocked and delighted to hear Cam's voice coming through the speaker.  
  
“Er.. Hey, Miles... Haven't heard from you in awhile... I hope everything is okay. Um, we're all getting together at the usual spot tonight, and we were hoping you could join us.... You can bring Alex if you'd like... I know you don't really like doing anything without him. Erm, anyway, hope you can come out. Miss you... Bye.”  
  
Miles quickly deleted the message, ignoring the trickle of tears he felt as he heard his best friend's voice. It had been such a long time since they had seen each other; at least three months. He'd love to go out and get together with his old mates, but he had a sinking feeling that Alex would refuse. But, he was an adult, surely he had a right to go see his friends if he wanted to. Alex got more than enough of his time, he was allowed to have a night out once in awhile. He smiled to himself as he smoothed out the front of his shirt, turning around and beginning to make his way into the kitchen, though gasped in surprise once he saw Alex already standing nearby.  
  
“Who was that, Miles?” Alex asked, his voice cold and unnerving. He glowered at the Scouser, his eyebrow raised in suspicion as he waited for an answer.  
  
Miles cleared his throat and smiled weakly, already knowing that this was going to turn into one hell of a fight. “Cam... He invited me out for drinks, and I want to go.”  
  
Alex let out a strained laugh, shaking his head as he stepped closer. “No, I don't believe you will be.”  
  
“Why not?!” Miles cried out, shaking his head in disbelief as scowled at the other man. “You can't tell me what to do, you're not my dad.” He felt pathetic, fighting his boyfriend this way.  
  
“The answer is no, Miles, and that's final. I worry too much about you, and you know how I feel about him. He thinks I torture you or some shit!”  
  
“He doesn't wanna fuck me, Alex, for Christ's sake; how many times do I have to tell you?! And that wasn't a real accusation, I told him off for it anyway!” He shouted, his eyes filling with tears as he became more and more frustrated.  
  
“Doesn't mean you won't go out and shag somebody else, you're much too affectionate when you drink.” Alex countered, his face stern as he moved so that they were in front of each other.  
  
Miles bit his inner cheek out of anger, feeling helpless as he continued to push the issue. He winced when he tasted blood on his tongue. “You seriously don't trust me, Alex? I gave up everything for you! My house, my job, my life! I'm losing my friends, and I don't want that to happen. I would never cheat on you, I think I've made it pretty clear that you're pretty much my entire life now. I love you Alex, I really do; but you need to control your jealousy. You're treating me like an object, rather than a person. I deserve your trust and respect, please be gracious enough to show that to me.”  
  
Alex stared at Miles, his face hard and expressionless as he finally reached out to stroke his thumb over Miles' bottom lip. “I worry about you.” he whispered, his voice suddenly filled with anguish. He cradled Miles' face between his hands, leaning in and pressing their foreheads together. “I know I seem cruel, but I just want to protect you. I know you could find somebody better, who doesn't get so jealous, and I'm scared of it. I don't want you to love anybody else. I want all of it.”  
  
Miles sighed, his body sagging forward as he kissed the corner of Alex's mouth. “I wouldn't do that, Alex. When I tell you that I love you, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. You mean too much to me, I could never cheat... If I could marry you, I would. I'm devoted to you; wholeheartedly. I just want to see my friends.”  
  
Alex's face softened, though he still appeared hesitant and like he was going to continue to fight the matter. Miles smiled as he ran his fingers through the Northerner's hair. “Why don't you come with me, yeah? That way you can see for yourself that I've only got eyes for you.”  
  
Miles watched as Alex's hollowed out his cheeks, and he knew he was mulling it over. It was agonizing waiting for a response, and he almost pumped his fist into the air when Alex finally agreed, though reluctantly so.  
  
“Cameron hates me, and I can't say I think too kindly of him either. We'll probably argue.” Alex reminded Miles, perhaps in a desperate attempt to get him to change his mind.  
  
Miles shrugged his shoulders before kissing the tip of Alex's nose. “You'll be good if you wanna get laid tonight.” he murmured into Alex's ear, making him roll his eyes.  
  
“You're threatening me with sex, now?” Alex asked incredulously.  
“Uh-huh, I want you to behave yourself. And if you do, you get me anyway you want me later.”  
Ale raised a brow at that, smirking as he questioned Miles further. “Anything I want?”  
Miles nodded and laughed. “Anything.”  
  
“How tempting... Right, I want you to bottom, then.” Alex decided, though he said it so quickly that Miles became aware that this must've been something he's thought about for awhile.  
  
Miles gulped, his eyes wide as he considered it. He knew it couldn't possibly be that bad, especially since he never really tried it. He was only a top because the other couple of men he had been with insisted that he should be. Alex wasn't a very good bottom anyway, and so he nodded his head in agreement. “Alright, deal.”  
  
Alex grinned, his eyes blazing with an unfamiliar excitement as he grabbed Miles' hand. “Well, off we go, then. And don't you even think about leaving my side tonight.”  
  
\-------------------  
  
Miles smiled widely as he listened to Cam tell the whole table about a disastrous one night stand he had a few weeks prior. He couldn't help the slight aching in his heart as he was hit with how much he had missed his friend. He mentally vowed then and there to never go so long without seeing him again, though deep down he was painfully aware that it was a vow that he would break. Miles felt that reminder beside him, shifting around in their seat as they swirled the beer around in their mug. Alex was obviously bored, not even trying to hide his disinterest in what was happening around him. He and Cam only greeted one another with a quick hello and stiff handshake before promptly ignoring each other ever since. Miles tried to not let it get to him. He could never convince them to be friends, no matter how much he wanted it to happen.  
  
He reached out from underneath the table and gently tickled his fingers across Alex's knee in a subtle attempt to get the other man's attention. He smiled as Alex turned to face him, and almost breathed a sigh of relief as Alex smiled back. He looked worn out and his eyes were bleary, as though being out that night was draining every ounce of energy he had inside himself. Miles wondered if that could be, he knew Alex wasn't much of a social butterfly. Maybe he was wrong to force this on him after all. Maybe...  
  
“Miles.” Alex murmured, snapping Miles out of his thoughts and back into reality. He smiled timidly as he leaned in closer to Miles so that he could be heard over everyone in the bar. “I'm going outside for a bit, I need some air.” he said, his eyes darting over in Cam's direction as he added, “Keep yourself out of trouble, love. I'd hate to have to punish you when we get home.”  
  
Miles rolled his eyes as Alex winked, sliding out of his bar stool and tossing a few bills onto the table. He squeezed Miles' thigh as he nodded towards everyone else at the table, though turned to give the Scouser one last pointed look before slinking away.  
  
“Don't tell me you're leaving already.” Cam groaned, looking annoyed as he glared at Alex's vacant seat. Miles laughed and shook his head.  
  
“Nah, he just wants to go outside for awhile. This type of scene really isn't his thing, but...” Miles trailed off, gesturing towards the direction Alex took off in as he tried to come up with a suitable way to end his sentence.  
  
“But Alex had to come and baby sit you, I get it.” Cam finished for him, smiling cheekily as Miles scowled.  
  
“Fuck off, that's not why!” he protested, his voice wavering as he took in all the concerned faces surrounding him. He sighed and rubbed his temples. “He can be exhausting sometimes, yes, but... He's a dear friend and I'm really all he's got, so.” he settled on, not wanting to reveal too much to the rest of the friend group. He had a feeling they were all suspicious of his and Alex's relationship anyway, but still he kept up the lie. Cam's face softened as he studied Miles, trying to figure out what he might be hiding. Miles hated how Cam could always see right through him.  
  
“Come on, next one's on me.” Cam decided, getting off of his stool and grabbing Miles by the elbow and dragging him away towards the bartender.  
  
\------------------  
  
Two hours later and Miles was properly shit faced, almost unable to stand up on his own as he babbled incoherently to anyone who would listen. He snickered to himself as Cam wobbled over to him, clutching onto the edge of the table once he made it there. “Miles, I'm surprised I even noticed, honestly, but where the fuck is Alex? It's been like... Forever. He must have taken up all the air.”  
  
Miles burst into hysterical laughter, beer spilling from out the corners of his mouth as he tried not to choke on it. He set his mug down and shrugged, the alcohol making him significantly looser. “I dunno, probably sulking somewhere. Or watching me from a dark corner in here to make sure I don't snog you.”  
  
Cam laughed so hard he made no sound at all, only short little gasps for breath as he clutched onto his stomach. “What the fuck?!”  
  
“Oh yeah, he thinks we're secretly in love or something, anytime I bring you up he doesn't shut up about it.”  
  
The two could barely contain themselves, and neither could really pinpoint why the whole situation was so funny. Miles really did need to learn some self control when it came to booze. He sighed and looked up at the clock hanging from the wall, realizing that Cam was indeed right, Alex had been gone for an abnormal amount of time. He excused himself and slowly made his way towards the back door he saw Alex leave from, holding onto any object and person he came across for balance. Luckily no one felt the need to shove him off.  
  
He coughed once he had stepped outside, the evening air hitting him like a ton of bricks. There was a bit of wind, making Miles' current lack of ability to stand even worse. He leaned against the brick wall of the building, his eyes searching the dark and empty alleyway before looking out towards the street. He saw no trace of Alex, and once it all hit him, he finally began to feel a twinge of fear. Did something bad happen to him? Surely he would have been back by now, or at least told Miles if he was going elsewhere. He slid across the wall and looked around the corner to where they had parked, noting that Alex's car was still there.  
  
“He didn't just up and leave me, then...” Miles muttered to himself, feeling more uneasy by the second as he tried to think of a plausible explanation. He wondered if maybe Alex was asleep in the backseat of the car, and so decided to clumsily make his way over. He gripped onto streetlamps and random cars, mentally chastising himself for drinking way too much again. He needed more self control, he decided. “Alex!” he called out, though the word was slurred and barely audible. Even if the northerner was around, Miles doubted he would even be heard.  
  
He tried again, his voice cracking as he slowly crossed the street. He scratched at his hair while dragging his feet across the asphalt, his eyes drooping as he began to feel weaker. He gasped as he tripped over the curb, falling down onto the sidewalk and once again scratching up the side of his face. He couldn't find the strength to lift himself back up, although he did try, all the while saying Alex's name faintly. He should have just waited inside, this was a terrible idea. Just as he thought he might pass out right then and there, he suddenly felt hands at his waist, grabbing onto him and lifting him back up. He flailed his arms about, trying to fend off whoever his attacker may be. He was both surprised and relieved to find out that it was only Alex.  
  
“Miles, baby, what are you doing out here?!” Alex asked, sounding frantic as he leaned the drunken man against the passenger side door. Miles noticed the way the other man seemed out of breath, his hair appearing damp and sticking to the sides of his face. He squinted his eyes out of suspicion while Alex wiped away the blood on his face. “I should ask you... T-the same thing, Alexander!” Miles stuttered, digging an accusing finger into Alex's chest. “You been out fuckin' around behind my back?!” he yelled, forgetting the fact that they were out in public for anyone to overhear.  
  
Alex's eyes widened as he clamped his hand over Miles' mouth, muffling the Scouser's protests as he unlocked the car. Miles tried to squirm away, he could feel his skin burn from the constant touching against the cuts on his face. He violently shook his head, and even tried to bite Alex as he was shoved into the backseat; with Alex crawling in behind him. He heard the door being slammed shut, and he weakly swung his fist to try and deliver a punch to his boyfriend; though it hardly made Alex flinch.  
  
Alex growled and climbed over top Miles, pinning his arms down against the cracked leather seat as he stared down at him. “Fucking stop that shit Miles, or so help me. You're drunk and have no fucking idea what you're talking about.”  
  
Miles gave up the last bit of fight in him then, instead turning his face away out of either tiredness or shame; he couldn't decide which. “You left me for a long time, and you look like you had quite a nice fuck, I'm not blind, Al.”  
  
“Clearly you are because I didn't shag anybody, I just walked around and lost track of time. I ran back here once I realized how long I had been gone, and I find you alone on the sidewalk. What if you got seriously hurt, Miles?! What if I didn't find you in time?! Someone might have come and taken advantage of you, or worse...” Alex said, his voice getting softer as he leaned in closer. “Don't scare me like that again, alright? What would I do if I lost you?”  
  
Shame. It was definitely shame creeping up Miles' body. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you or scare you. I was just trying to find you. I was worried too.”  
  
“Mm, it's alright, love. Just be careful. That's all I ask.”  
  
Miles nodded in agreement, humming as he felt Alex's lips pressing against his own. He slid his hand up the back of Alex's shirt; feeling warm, damp skin underneath his fingertips. He froze when he came across what felt like a scratch mark on his ribcage, though he forced himself to not read much into it. The last thing he wanted to do was cause another fight. Alex probably just knocked into something. They loved each other too much to go behind each others' backs like that. Alex would never keep a dark secret from him; not after what they went through in Sheffield.  
  
Right?  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles finally figures out what's inside the shed (I couldn't think of a better description rip)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I've been excited for this chapter since I started writing this story, and I hope you all like it too. It's pretty lengthy, but I didn't want to split it up. Also, I'm sorry. :)
> 
> Enjoy!!
> 
> *This chapter has pretty graphic descriptions of violence, just as a warning*

_“Alex? Where are you?” Miles called, staring down a long, dark hallway as he tried to find the other man. He hesitantly took a step forward, his eyes darting around the area in an attempt to spot anything in front of him. He gulped as he slowly placed a shaking hand against the wall, though pulled it back and gasped when he felt something wet. He raised his open palm to his nose and inhaled, his nostrils filing with the unmistakable scent of blood. He whimpered as he wiped his hand on his pant leg, his heart racing as he began to worry whether or not Alex was alright. ___  
  
_“Al? Are you okay?” he cried out, his voice breaking as he shuffled his feet further into the darkness surrounding him. His breathing began to speed up, he felt like he was choking on nothing but air. He patted down his pockets to try and find his inhaler, but to no avail. Oh, God, he couldn't fucking breathe, no matter how hard he tried. He went to call out for Alex once more, though only was able to wheeze. He buckled over with his arms wrapped around his stomach, his knees feeling weak and unable to sustain his weight. ___  
  
_His gasps for air became more desperate as he stumbled forward, though soon fell to his knees and doubled over. He reached out towards the opposite wall, his whole body shuddering as he felt more blood. He pressed his hand into the carpet and coughed uncontrollably; he felt as though his entire body was shutting down. Suddenly, he felt something grabbing his hair and tugging him upright, making Miles flail his arms weakly to try and fight them off. He saw black as he felt something sharp piercing into his stomach, twisting around and around like a corkscrew. Miles tried to scream, but nothing other than his now weak gasps could come out. His attacker laughed manically in his ear as they plunged the object deeper, and Miles felt himself become lightheaded. Everything was spinning, fading, disappearing before him... ___  
  
Miles made a strangled sound as his eyes widened, his body sheathed in a cold sweat with the blankets tangled around his body. He panted and pressed his head further into his pillow, realizing it was all nothing but a dream. He could hear the television on in the sitting room, and Alex's faint laughter every so often in the background. He sighed and pressed his hand to his forehead, his eyes blurring as he tried to focus them at the ceiling fan. He noticed how dark it seemed in the room, and turned his head to take a look at the bedside clock. He was shocked to realize that it was nearing seven at night. How long had he been out?  
  
“And I'm still so bloody tired.” he mumbled to himself, still feeling unbelievably groggy as he sat himself upright, his legs dangling over the edge of the bed. He wiped the sweat from his face with the sheets, deciding to wash them later before pushing the bangs out of his eyes. He stood on shaky legs, holding onto the bed for support until he felt as though he could manage on his own. He didn't bother to try and find himself some clothes, deciding his boxers were good enough. He slowly made his way out to where Alex was, finding him laying out across the couch and watching the television, just as Miles had figured. He glanced over at Miles, smiling sweetly as he opened his arms up to him. “Come here, baby; you look so knackered.”  
  
Miles felt as though he was trapped in a daze as he trudged over towards the couch, slowly dropping himself down into Alex's arms, laying over the other man. He felt Alex's lips against his temple, his fingers carding through his hair as he focused back on the TV. Miles sighed and turned his head towards the screen, squinting as he tried to make out what it was. “I didn't know you liked Sherlock Holmes.” Miles muttered, his voice still slightly slurred as he nestled in closer.  
  
“Mm, yeah; it's alright I suppose. Something good to watch when you don't really wanna think.” Alex replied, sounding a bit detached.  
  
“Mindless? I always find myself trying to figure it all out before he does.” Miles said, smiling as he gently ran his fingers down Alex's arm. “How long was I sleeping?”  
  
Alex shifted underneath the weight of Miles' body and placed an arm around the Scouser's waist. “Dunno, since last night I reckon.”  
  
“Fuck, I've been asleep for what, eighteen hours?! Christ, you should've woke me up or something!” Miles exclaimed; he couldn't believe he'd actually been out for that long.  
  
Alex shrugged. “You must have needed it, I didn't want to bother you.” was his only response.  
Miles swallowed and shook his head, disgusted with himself for behaving this way. Since when did he become this lazy? He didn't even remember falling asleep.  
  
“Oh, by the way, I took your car to the yard today. Y'know, the one that buys cars for parts.”  
Miles' brows furrowed as he raised his head up. “What?! Why the fuck did you do that??”  
  
Alex wasn't phased by Miles yelling at him, his face remaining calm and impassive as he said, “We needed the money. Besides, you don't use it anyway, we always use my car. You haven't driven it in months.”  
  
“Because you haven't wanted me to! And that was my car, dammit, you didn't even ask if it was okay!” Miles bellowed, pushing himself off of the other man and standing up to hopefully make himself appear more intimidating. He was quite displeased when Alex remained unmoved.  
  
“Settle down, will you? It's already done so you might as well forget about it.”  
  
Miles let out a frustrated groan, pushing his hands through his hair as he began pacing back and forth. “That's not the fucking point, the point is you did something without even consulting me about it! You took something that belonged to me because you felt like it, and it's such bullshit, Alex. You never fucking ask, you just do whatever the hell you want and never consider anyone else and I'm sick of it!” Miles rambled, surprising himself with how much he ended up saying. Normally he'd rather keep his mouth shut to avoid an argument.  
  
Alex finally stood up, glaring at the other man as he spat, “You about done now?! How about you shut your fucking mouth and just be grateful you'll have food, yeah?”  
  
“No, I won't just shut my mouth, this crosses the line, Alex!” Miles yelled, fighting every urge inside himself to let his voice waver, to give up the fight.  
  
Alex said nothing, only stared icily as he visibly tried to contain his rage. “I'm going out, I'm done listening to you whine because I hurt your feelings.” he said, turning away and walking into the kitchen to grab his jacket.  
  
Miles quickly followed, stomping his feet as he said, “What? We're supposedly so broke you had to sell my car, and now you wanna go out to the pub?! No, you're not doing that.”  
  
Alex turned so that they were facing each other. “It's cute that you think you're actually gonna stop me.” he said, snatching up the keys off of the kitchen table.  
  
“I can't believe you actually think any of this is okay!” Miles retorted, all his common sense going out the window as he reached out and began tugging at Alex's arm. He let his nails sink into the Northerner's skin, trying to get him to drop the keys. “No, Alex, you're not going. This is ridiculous, you don't get to take off when I say things you don't like!” he shouted, though his mouth soon snapped shut as Alex whirled around.  
  
Miles whimpered as Alex grabbed him by the shoulders and slammed him up against the wall, his head bouncing off of the plaster. Alex dug his thumbs into Miles' collarbones as he growled, “I will do whatever the fuck I want whenever I want; and you're gonna know your goddamned place and shut your fucking mouth. Got it, sweetheart?”  
  
Miles tried his best to cower away, he couldn't take the way Alex looked at him when they got into arguments; as though he was something that should be destroyed. He lowered his head in obedience, something he had grown used to over the course of their relationship. He should've known that he wasn't going to win. “Yes, Alex. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you angry.”  
  
Alex's touch became gentler then, his hands sliding up Miles' neck and cupping his face. “It's alright, you just need to learn to bite your tongue and let me make decisions.”  
  
Miles leaned into the other man while they kissed goodbye, and he felt his impending loneliness beginning to creep up his spine. “Can I go with you?” he asked hopefully.  
  
“No, love; you stay here and get some rest. You still seem pretty out of it. I won't be too long.” Alex replied, shooting Miles down and making his heart drop into his stomach. Miles just couldn't shake his dread of being alone. He couldn't remember the last time he was, to be perfectly honest. He let Alex take his hand and lead him back towards the living room, and he laid out on the couch as Alex wrapped a blanket around his body.  
  
“Watch some telly while I'm out. There's leftover food in the fridge if you get hungry.” Alex said, as though he was Miles' mother. The thought of his dear sweet mum made the ache in Miles' heart deepen. He felt Alex kiss his forehead, and listened intently to the sound of his boots against the hardwood floor; and the jingling of his car keys. He held his breath as he heard the door creaking open, then being shut tight seconds later.  
  
He waited until he heard the sounds of the car driving away to finally turn into his pillow and cry uncontrollably.  
  
\------------------  
  
Miles woke once more to static from the television blaring through the speaker, causing a pounding in his head as he sat up. He checked the time on the wall clock, seeing that it was half past two in the morning. He wondered if maybe Alex already came home and went to bed. He shook himself out of his haze and stood up, walking over to the window and peering outside. He was shocked to see that Alex's car wasn't even there; he still hadn't arrived. He promised to be back soon, this wasn't like him at all. He huffed as he shut the blinds, his body soon filing with fury.  
  
Who the hell did Alex think he was, taking off whenever he felt like for however long, when Miles would never be allowed to do the same? He didn't even have a car anymore, thanks to Alex. He wanted to scream or cry out of frustration for the situation; he just couldn't decide which. However, he felt that abandonment crawling in his skin once more, and his rage quickly turned into desperation. He wanted Alex back; he needed it. He wasn't quite sure how to function without him anymore.  
  
He jumped when the shrill sound of the telephone ringing filled his ears, his eyes widening as he began to wonder who it could it be. He hoped it was Alex letting him know that he'd be home soon.  
  
He raced towards the phone and snatched up the receiver. “Hello?!” He asked, and was surprised to hear Cam's voice; though soon felt disappointed.  
  
“Miles? Hey, there's something I need to tell you. I just saw something, and you're not gonna like it.”  
Miles twisted the cord around his fingers as he listened. “Okay? What is it?”  
  
Cam coughed, a nervous habit of his. “Erm... Well... I'm out with Jay, right? And I looked over and I noticed Alex hanging 'round the other side of the pub...” he started, pausing as he waited to be encouraged to go on.  
  
Miles sighed, his patience already beginning to run thin as he pressed for more. “Okay, yeah?! You saw Alex and what?? Glad to know he's alright even though he's much later than he said he'd be.”  
  
Cam stayed quiet for a few seconds, though it felt like an eternity to Miles. “I saw him with someone else. A girl; kinda looked like maybe she was a prozzie. He was all over her, Mi... Tongue down her throat and his hands all over her; you know how it goes... He left with her about ten minutes ago. God I'm so sorry to tell you this, I just... You needed to know, yeah? I couldn't not tell you.”  
  
Miles felt a rush of mixed emotions, wondering if maybe Cam was lying. He hated Alex, perhaps this was his way of getting rid of him. But no, Cam was his best friend. He wouldn't make something like this up, Miles knew better than that.  
  
He felt numb.  
  
“Are you... Are you positive it was him?” he whispered, his voice breaking. He couldn't let himself cry; not yet.  
  
Cam made a sound of affirmation, and it seemed as though maybe he was a bit choked up as well. “It was him, Miles. I would know that stupid mushroom haircut anywhere. And I saw his face a few times. He didn't notice me, I don't think. If he did, than he sure was bold to still act like that when he knew I was right there-”  
  
“Tell me what he was wearing. I need to know if it was really him.”  
Cam sighed, and Miles could picture him rolling his eyes. It almost made him smile. Almost.  
  
“Jeans, those bloody boots that seem to be attached to his body; a black t shirt I think, and a big green jacket. Looked way too big for him.”  
  
Miles sobbed then, an ugly sound that caught in his throat. He covered his mouth to try and muffle it, though he already knew Cam heard. He didn't want to believe it, he couldn't. But he knew it was the truth, the evidence was right there. It just hurt too much. He felt betrayed; he felt raw.  
  
“I need to go now, Cam. Thank you for telling me.” he said, unable to listen to anymore. He knew Cameron would understand.  
  
“You're welcome, Miles. Love you, mate. If you need anything, just give me a ring.”  
  
Miles muttered a goodbye, he wasn't positive it was even understandable. He really couldn't care less anyway. He gently set the phone back in place, staring at the wall as he tried to comprehend what he had just learned. He slowly walked towards their shared bedroom, looking around at everything inside it. He wanted to break everything in sight and then go home crying to his mother. He just needed to feel loved. That wasn't too much to ask, he didn't think.  
  
He picked up a photograph of the two of them together, from when they had first started dating. Alex even had a bit of a smile on his face, and Miles was looking at him as though he had hung the moon and the stars just for the two of them. Why couldn't they go back to that? What changed? Miles couldn't put the pieces together. Maybe he didn't want to.  
  
He held the photo to his heart and crawled into their closet, shutting the door behind him so that he could weep in solitude.  
  
\-------------------------  
  
Miles didn't know how long he had been hiding, but he knew it must have been for quite a long time; he could see sunlight pouring in from underneath the door. He laid his head against the wall and took a deep breath, the picture frame he had been holding slipping out of his hands and hitting the floor with a dull thud. He rubbed his fingers against his closed eyelids; trying to dissipate any remaining urge to fall back asleep. He had gotten enough of that lately. He tensed when he heard a banging sound from somewhere in the house; along with a muffled shout. He began to panic, wondering if maybe someone broke in. No, that was nonsense; he knew who it was. His heart sank.  
  
“Miles!” he heard, the voice getting closer. It definitely was Alex, and he sounded livid. As if he had any right to be. Miles huffed and inched his body deeper into the closet, hoping to maybe disappear completely. He didn't want this to happen; the fighting and the crying. But another part of him wanted it; was dying for it. To watch Alex try and talk his way out of this one, though Miles knew how dangerous that could be. He had a terrible habit of accepting anything the Northerner said, no matter if he knew better or not.  
  
Alex was in the bedroom now, his harsh breathing and heated rambling to himself getting closer and closer. “You better not have ran out on me, Miles. I'll fucking find you no matter where you go; you can't hide.”  
  
Miles swallowed hard, his heart racing as he took the words in. Why was he so angry? Shouldn't he have been scared that Miles couldn't be found? He didn't understand any of this. And those things he had just said... Was that why Alex sold his car; to trap him here?  
  
He almost screamed when the closet door flung open, and he tried not to let his fear be visible. He pulled his legs up against his chest; shaking as he waited to finally be spotted. He flinched when he soon felt Alex's hands on his thighs.  
  
“Miles?! What the hell are you doing in here?? I thought you were gone!” Alex said, dropping onto his knees so that they were at the same level. His anger seemed to be gone now, instead reaching out and running his fingers through Miles' hair. “Baby why were you in here? Is everything alright?”  
  
Miles said nothing, only stood up and pushed past Alex, walking out into the middle of the bedroom and waiting for it all to crash and burn. Alex scrambled to get up and follow him out, the confusion on his face clear as the two men stood in front of each other. Miles backed away when Alex reached out to touch him, and he swore the Northerner's eyes darkened a bit. Before Alex could say anything, Miles blurted out, “I know what you did.”  
  
Alex's eyebrows raised, his mouth popping open in surprise. Miles watched as he looked down at his own clothes, inspecting them thoroughly before meeting Miles' gaze. “Is that right? And what is it you think I did, Miles?”  
  
“I don't think, I fucking know it!” Miles shouted; the volume of his voice shocking the both of them. Alex's eyes narrowed; smirking as he cocked his jaw.  
  
“So what is it, then? Do tell.”  
  
Miles' hands balled into fists at his sides; tensing up as he took a step closer. “You slept with some whore you met at the pub; that's what you did. I can't fucking believe you! After all the goddamn times you've accused me of cheating! You're such a fucking hypocritical prick! Christ, everyone was right about you! Your sister told me you were a bastard and you sure proved her right, didn't you?! And Cam; who had the decency to tell me what you were out doing, by the way; God he always told me what a fucking scumbag you are. I should have listened; but no, I always went on about what an amazing person you were. And you've made a complete fool out of me. I guess I'm the last to know, aren't I?”  
  
Something flickered in Alex's eyes, and he went from calm and collected to furious and out of control within seconds. His face flashed with anger; his nostrils flaring as his breathing got heavy. “Who the fuck do you think you are, talking to me like that?!” he roared; his voice filled with nothing but searing hatred. It made Miles want to shrink into himself, but he refused. He knew he needed to stand his ground.  
  
“You're one to talk! You can dish it but you can't take it, is that it??” Miles fired back, his body shaking as Alex stomped over to him.  
  
“Alright, Miles. Yeah; I saw some useless slag in the pub and I fucked her. I fucked her so hard she bled a little bit. Oh, Miles; you should have heard her, baby. She was moaning and screaming my name until she begged me to stop. Twice, actually. And you know what? I bloody well loved it. It's not the first time either, sweetheart; and it won't be the last.” Alex taunted, smiling crookedly as he silently challenged the other man.  
  
Miles broke down, the tears he had been praying wouldn't fall starting to stream down his cheeks. In one last attempt at redemption, he shoved Alex with all his strength, making him fall back against the wall. Alex gaped at Miles, his nails scraping at the paint before laughing bitterly. “Oh, Miles. You really shouldn't have done that, baby.”  
  
He hurled forward at Miles, though the Scouser managed to escape just in time. He raced down the hallway and into the living room, searching quickly for any sight of the car keys. He didn't find them, and so opened the door and ran outside. He wasn't sure where he could go; he knew trying to make it to a neighbor's home was useless. Instead he took off towards the back of the house, well aware that Alex would catch up to him soon. He darted through trees and bushes, his heart pounding as he caught sight of the shed. He knew it was a long shot, but he went for it.  
  
His body slammed into the door as he desperately shook the handle; hoping to god that he could get in. Luck appeared to be on his side, Alex must not have locked it properly the last time he had used it. The door flung open and Miles bolted into the dark area. He quickly shut it behind himself; not bothering to look and see where Alex might be. He felt around on the wall for a light switch; flicking it on and pushing the deadlock into place. He knew he wasn't safe for long, but at least he bought himself a little bit of time.  
  
The absolutely wretched smell of the small space is what Miles noticed first; making him gag as he covered his nose. His eyes watered; unable to cover up the horrific stench no matter what he did. He coughed as he glanced at the wall, noticing red stains splattered around it. He backed up slowly, his body trembling as he gained the courage to turn around. He was terrified of what he might find once he did. He mentally counted down to three; whirling around and staring at what was in front of him. He didn't even know how to begin to process it.  
  
More red stains covered the walls, and Miles felt his stomach somersault. He knew it was blood, he just couldn't bring himself to consider what that would mean. He noted more of it spattered on the floor, and on a table sitting against the back wall. He looked to his right and spotted a bloodied chainsaw hanging from a hook. He gulped as he wrapped his arms around himself. This was like a horror film; there was no way that any of this was real. He desperately wished that none of it was real.  
  
He dragged his feet towards the desk, wanting to look at the box and photo album sitting on top of it. He opened the album first, seeing that it was filled with newspaper clippings about various murders. He felt bile rise in his throat as it all fell into place; as he accepted the truth. Alex killed these people, and he wanted to remember it. He was proud of his cruelty.  
  
Miles forced himself to continue turning the pages; until he came across photographs. It took one look to realize they were of dead bodies; most of them hacked into pieces. He sobbed as he shoved the album away, letting it fall to the floor face down. He grabbed handfuls of his own hair, tugging at it as he wept. Alex was a fucking monster; and Miles was sleeping next to him in his bed every night. He was touched by those same hands that took other people's lives. It made him absolutely sick. How could he have not seen it?  
  
His hands shook as he pulled the lid off of the box; squeezing his eyes shut as he did. When he finally coaxed himself to open them again, he was faced with nothing but Ids. He picked them up one by one, his heart aching for all of these assumed victims. They were actual people; with lives and families and homes, and it was all stolen from them. He turned one over, not wanting to see the young woman's face anymore, and was in disbelief when he saw Alex's messy scribbles on the back.  
  
_'It hurts so much' ___  
  
Miles' bottom lip quivered; his eyes stinging with tears as he began flipping over every ID card and laying them out on the table. All of them had Alex's handwriting across the back; each saying a different yet eerily similar message.  
  
_'Please stop' ___  
_'Stop stop stop' ___  
_'Get away from me' ___  
_'Please I'll do anything' ___  
_'Please don't kill me' ___  
  
He knew it must have been the last things they said before they all died, and it completely shattered him. How could anyone be this callous; how could Alex? Sure, he was a bit of an ass and could be quite mean, but Miles never would have thought he was capable of something like this; that he could ever be a murderer. He dropped the remaining cards back into the box; unable to look at anymore. He took a step backwards; and one of the floorboards raised up in the air, making him fall down.  
  
He groaned in pain as he pushed himself up onto his knees, moving aside as he ran his fingers across the board. He knew he didn't want to see what could be underneath, but he had to. He needed to know. He pushed down on it so that it lifted back up, and as soon as he did, he began to cough uncontrollably. The overwhelming smell of something rotting overcame him; and he wailed out of a mixture of fear and sorrow when he caught sight of a hand. He quickly slammed the board back into place, now knowing what that unbearable smell was. He crawled into the corner and began to vomit.  
  
He didn't stop until he was dry heaving, his hands shaking as he tried to hold himself up. He sat back against the wall and buried his head into his hands. He had to make it out of this. He had to somehow get away from Alex before he was next. He suddenly realized that he had been hiding for around fifteen minutes, and there was still no sign of the other man. Maybe he thought Miles took off elsewhere. He might actually have a chance.  
  
He pushed himself up off the floor, standing on weakened legs as he slowly walked to the door. He noticed a bloody crowbar propped up in the corner, and only hesitated for a few seconds before picking it up. He clutched it in his hand as he unlocked the door; taking a deep breath before opening it. He peered out, not seeing anything else around him. He pushed the hair out of his eyes as he took a step forward, though nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Alex standing at the side of the shed.  
  
He was perfectly calm; leaning against a tree as he stared back at the Scouser. There was a spark in Alex's blackened eyes, and he sensed he was probably enjoying Miles' palpable fear. His suspicions were confirmed when Alex smiled at him, though it no longer filled Miles' body with warmth. It felt predatory, and Miles knew he was the one being hunted.  
  
“So, baby; did you find anything interesting in there?” Alex asked, sounding almost cheerful as he took a step closer. Miles pressed against the doorway.  
  
He said nothing, only flinched as Alex began to laugh. Everything that was once so beautiful about him was suddenly nothing but pure evil.  
  
“I thought I had told you not to come in here... You've been so bad today, Miles. I think I might have to punish you for that.”  
  
Miles trembled as Alex came closer; their bodies almost touching from their proximity. He took a deep breath, knowing that it was now or never. Before Alex could realize it; he raised the crowbar up into the air and whacked Alex in the back; making the other man fall and howl in pain.  
  
“You stupid motherfucker!” he hissed, glaring up at Miles as he went to push himself back up.  
  
He didn't wait around to see it happen, instead running as fast as he could manage back towards the house. He hoped to god Alex didn't have the car keys on him, though he found it hard to believe Alex would be dumb enough to leave them laying around. He ran inside and slammed the door shut; locking it before racing to close and lock each of the windows; along with the back door. Once he had, he hurried to the phone, picking it up and dialing 999; still holding onto the crowbar as he waited for someone to pick up. He almost cried out of relief when he heard a voice.  
  
“999 What's your emergency?”  
  
He opened his mouth to try and tell them what was going on, but before he could, the line went dead. He shook his head and began yelling into the receiver, though he knew it was too late; Alex had cut the line. He threw the phone against the wall out of frustration, and he soon filled with dread. He was beginning to wonder if maybe he wasn't going to make it out of this alive.  
  
He yelped when he heard banging on the back door, and Alex shouting at him from outside. He felt defeated, though he made sure to hold onto the bar, hoping maybe he could fend the other man off. He had a sinking feeling deep inside about that. He pressed into a corner of the living room, sliding down the wall as tears streaked down his cheeks. He curled up into himself, and almost began welcoming death. At least it would all be over then.  
  
Miles tried to shrink his body as much as possible, knowing it would make no difference. He heard the door caving in and said a prayer to himself. He'd never been a very religious man, but he would do anything to get out of this. Alex was panting, his footsteps heavy as Miles listened to him walk through the kitchen. He didn't look up when Alex entered the room, instead screwing his eyes shut as he cried.  
  
“You sure do have some nerve, Miles; thinking you were gonna get away with all this.”  
  
Miles looked up, his eyes red and puffy as he tried to press back further into the corner. He saw a quick flash of something out of the corner of his eye, and he realized that Alex was holding a butcher knife in his hand. He broke down, crying hysterically as he started to beg. “Please Alex; don't do this, don't hurt me. I love you, we can talk about it. Please don't hurt me, Al.”  
  
“Why should I do that, Miles? You've been acting up today; going into places I forbade you to go and hitting me with shit. Speaking of which, drop the crowbar right now; or else you're gonna fucking regret it.”  
  
Miles threw it to the side as though it had burned him; willing to do anything to save himself. He glanced nervously at the knife, at the way Alex was gently scraping it back and forth across his own pant leg. “Come here, Alex; I'm sorry I did that stuff.”  
  
“Shut the fuck up; Miles. I think you've been wanting to leave me, and now you know what I like doing, yeah? How I like torturing them and making them scream. I love it, Miles. Nothing compares to the thrill of hearing people begging me to let them live... And I know you think you're gonna outsmart me and tell the cops what I've been up to. But you won't. You can't escape me, Miles; at least not alive.” Alex spoke slowly, his voice low as he moved directly in front of the Scouser.  
  
“You'll never leave me, baby. You need me; you're weak and you depend on me. I knew it from the day we met, sweetheart. I could fucking smell it. You're pathetic.” he spat; suddenly raising the knife into the air and lunging forward, making Miles shriek as he tried to squirm away. He screamed as Alex held him in place and plunged the knife into the wall; less than an inch away from Miles' face. He let out a sob as Alex grinned at him; an ugly, twisted sight.  
  
“Gotcha.” he said, laughing once as let go of the knife handle. He ran his finger down Miles' tear stained cheeks, across his jaw and to his throat. He stopped there, pressing gently as Miles whimpered.  
  
“Sometimes I think I should've fucking killed you when I had planned. But you were so beautiful laying in your bed; fast asleep and mumbling every now and then. I knew I had to have you at least once; so I followed you around until you ended up at your mate's house, and I waited for you to take the bait. I thought maybe I'd off you then, after we shagged, but... I dunno. I guess I liked you and how gullible you were.” he confessed, making Miles realize everything had always been a lie; including Alex being in his house and in his bed. He felt bile rise in his throat as Alex pressed their lips together, but he forced himself to kiss back. He knew pretending to still be in love might be his only chance at survival.  
  
“I've been starting to regret that decision, Miles; especially now that you know my big secret.” Alex continued; pulling the knife out of the wall and holding it up close to Miles' throat. “Now I'm wondering if I should get rid of you so I can make sure you don't tell on me. But I don't think you will; you're not that stupid. So you'll keep it to yourself, right love? You won't go blabbering to Cameron or anyone else? Especially now that you won't be able to; the phone line and your car are both gone. And you know exactly what will happen if you do.”  
  
He pressed the blade against Miles' throat; just hard enough to make Miles internally panic. He nodded his head instantly. Alex smiled, seemingly pleased with this turn of events. “Good, because I won't make it easy for you. It'll be long and very painful for you; maybe I'll drag it out over a few days. I'll make you suffer, baby.” he warned. With that, he pulled back the blade and dropped the knife onto the floor. Miles could finally breathe at least a little bit easier.  
  
He sat motionless as Alex ran his hands down Miles' chest and stomach before resting on his belt buckle. “Mm, but you're still my sweet boy... You still love me, don't you, Miles? I wanna hear it.”  
  
Miles swallowed hard, the words getting caught in his throat as he parted his lips. He was utterly disgusted with himself as he finally spoke. “I love you, Alex. I'll always love you.” he replied monotonously, though it went by unnoticed. He hoped he could be forgiven for this.  
  
Alex beamed; visibly satisfied with that answer. He leaned in and kissed Miles' throat as he began unbuckling Miles' belt.  
  
Miles tried his best to hold back his tears as he grimly accepted his fate.  



	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles starts asking questions about Alex's 'activities'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I can't believe I managed to get another update done so quickly, hopefully it keeps up ;p This chapter has some kinda graphic descriptions of violence in it, nothing too bad I don't think. But, I wanted to warn everyone just in case. Enjoy!
> 
> [Here's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rypT2qMO1RY) the song playing at the end

Miles was alone in the living as the television played in the background; though he wasn't paying it any attention. He couldn't get his mind to focus on anything lately, ever since he found out about Alex. He somehow always ended up thinking about the shed, and about what happened inside of it. He really wasn't sure if Alex killed anyone in there, maybe he only used it to dispose of the bodies. He felt a cold chill deep in his bones at the thought. Though he really couldn't help but wonder how the hell Alex ever managed to pull off any of this right under his nose. Did it happen while he was sleeping? Wouldn't he hear screaming; or at least the chainsaw running? He had so many unanswered questions, though still couldn't decide if he ever actually wanted to know the truth. He wasn't sure if he could take knowing the full extent of Alex's maliciousness.  
  
He clasped his hands together; bowing his head as his eyes fluttered shut. Lately he had found that his only real escape was sleep. It was the next best thing to death if you asked him. He felt ashamed even thinking that way, but he was hard pressed to find any joy in his life anymore. He didn't have any friends, any family, and his boyfriend was bat shit crazy. He smiled faintly at that thought; it sounded like a god awful sitcom tagline. He felt a bit morbid for making jokes about the situation, but he was scared that he would truly lose his mind if he didn't do something to lighten things up.  
  
He wondered if his mother missed him; if she was concerned and trying to get a hold of him. He never even told her about Alex; she would have no way of knowing where he could be. He hoped she was doing well; that her butcher shop was thriving and that she was happy. God, he missed her. He felt stupid for wishing he could cry in his mom's arms; for still thinking that she would make the monster go away.  
  
Maybe Cam has tried to phone him; he would never know if he has. Of course he had made the quite literally grave mistake of never telling him where this house was. Cam wouldn't even know where to look if he became suspicious. Not that it would matter; surely Alex would get rid of him if he ever came here. The thought was absolutely depressing.  
  
Pretending that everything was completely normal wasn't quite as difficult as Miles anticipated; it was easy to numb himself now. Sometimes he swore he could actually feel his inner being leaving his body in these moments, so that only the shell of himself had to endure it. Or maybe he was fucking insane; he wouldn't doubt either explanation at this point. He definitely wasn't normal, although how could anyone be? On rare occasions he indulged in fantasies where he has escaped and was living a new life; and he never could imagine himself being fully okay. Surely there would always be a part of him that was damaged, no matter what happened. He hoped that fantasy Miles would find genuine happiness someday; that he could eventually move on from this.  
  
He could only hope.  
  
\-------------  
  
Miles sat silently at the dining room table; using his hand to hold up his head as he pushed his pasta around his plate. He couldn't bring himself to take a bite of it, even though he did feel a bit hungry. It seemed too exhausting; just as everything had seemed to him lately, no matter how simple. He sighed softly, his eyes darting up to catch a glimpse of Alex flipping through the latest paper across from him. He tried to tell himself it was only because Alex wanted to see what was happening in the world.  
  
“Anything, you know... Interesting going on?” Miles asked; ignoring the way his voice cracked as he spoke. He didn't know why the hell he had just asked that; he felt like he was forcing small talk with a stranger. He supposed that in a way, he really was.  
  
Alex looked up slowly; quirking his brow as he pursed his lips. He appeared amused by the question. “Well, that depends on what you mean by interesting, Miles.” he said, smirking as he went back to flipping through pages.  
  
Miles stabbed at a meatball with his fork, watching it crumble to pieces before stirring it around. He wasn't sure how to reply, and so kept his mouth shut. He took a sip of the water he had gotten for himself before they sat; he was slightly afraid to eat or drink anything Alex had given him. He knew it was silly, certainly Alex wouldn't opt for poisoning him. Oh no, he would want to torture him; make him suffer. He dropped his fork onto the plate, causing a loud clatter sound.  
  
Alex set his paper down onto the table and pushed it aside; peering over at Miles out of curiosity. “You alright? You haven't eaten anything.”  
  
“Why do you do it?!” Miles blurted out, unable to contain himself any longer. He wasn't sure if he was sick for wanting to know, but he couldn't help himself. Deep down he knew that he just wanted to try and figure Alex out. Maybe he could learn something that would help him in the future.  
  
Alex stared at Miles; his face expressionless as he slowly licked his lips. He said nothing at first, causing Miles to practically squirm in his seat. He wondered if perhaps Alex didn't understand what he meant; but Miles knew just by looking at him that he was well aware.  
  
“Eat your food, you're looking much too thin.” he finally said, ignoring the question as he pushed back his chair and stood up.  
  
Miles laughed bitterly at that, shaking his head as he shoved his plate away. “Stop pretending like you care about me, Alex. You don't give a single fuck about my well being, we both know that.”  
  
Alex set his plate down on the counter before turning around to face the other man. “I care about you, Miles. Just... In a different way than most people would.”  
  
Miles scoffed, rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You sure have a funny way of showing it, then. This isn't love; at least not to me. I was just dumb enough to think it was. I love you, but I'm one hundred percent certain you don't feel the same.”  
  
Alex sighed heavily; rubbing his temples before leaning his head back against a cabinet. “You're right, it's not the same. I care for you, sure, just not in a romantic way. It's like...” he started, visibly struggling to collect the right words to say. “It's like a pet. You know, like a little cat. You're cute and I make sure you've got your food and water; and sometimes I wanna give you a good rub and make you purr, but then the rest of the time I'd rather you just go sleep or whatever.” he finally settled on, making Miles stare at him incredulously.  
  
“....A cat? That's how you see me?? You think of me as a fucking animal; your pet?!” Miles screeched; not quite able to believe what he was hearing. “Basically as your inferior, is what you're getting at. I'm beneath you, in your mind.”  
  
Alex shrugged, nodding his head slowly as he held onto the counter. “Well, yeah. You're weak and needy. But that's alright, I like you better when you have to depend on me. I like being in control. Actually, I need to be. I need to be in control of you.”  
  
Miles slumped in his chair, having nothing more to say on the matter. Of course Alex didn't see them as equals, how else could he be so degrading so effortlessly? He just implied that all Miles was good for was sex; only on Alex's terms of course. He felt worthless, and he couldn't believe that he had ever allowed it to happen.  
  
He remained silent as Alex sat in the chair closest to him, and didn't even protest when he felt their hands being clasped together. He wondered when Alex would stop showing him these empty gestures of affection; though secretly hoped it would continue forever. It was really the only thing he had left, and it certainly was a hell of a lot better than getting a knife pressed into his throat.  
  
“Look, Miles; I know you want me to love you, and I suppose it could be nice, but it's never going to happen. I dunno what exactly it is, but I'm aware of how detached I am from everyone else. It used to make me... Lonely, I guess is the right word. I would kinda feel sad about it, mostly when I was a kid. But not like you are when you get sad. It was more like a brief, fleeting moment, then it went away. You understand, baby? I don't think I'm wired right, or whatever you wanna call it. I'm just... Missing something. But I think it's more fun this way.”  
  
Miles let the words sink in; trying to comprehend them. This was the most open Alex had ever been about himself, and he was surprised by how willing he seemed to be to talk about it. He decided to take advantage of Alex's sudden vulnerability while he could.  
  
“So... You want to love people, but for some reason you're not able to?” Miles asked, hoping he wasn't pushing it.  
  
Alex's mouth twisted, his nose scrunching up as he considered the question. “Well, I wouldn't say I _want _to love people. I'm more curious to know how it is for the sake of knowing. I don't have any real desire to make a connection with someone; fall in love, all that shit. But I do like knowing everything.” he said, laughing quietly as he ran his thumb over Miles' knuckles. He lifted their hands up for a second, nodding towards them as he added, “I do this stuff for your benefit. I know you wanna feel like we have some sort of deep bond, so I do what I can to make you think that we actually do. You're really not that important to me, Miles. Although, you're a bit more valuable now that you know about me.”__  
  
Miles inhaled sharply, his heart in his throat as he took that in. He wasn't important to Alex, and he would never receive the love he so desperately wanted. He tried not to let his feelings overtake him, instead taking a shaky breath before saying, “Why are you being so honest with me about this? Aren't you worried I'll stop loving you and then run away?”  
  
Alex smiled, his eyes crinkling and making him seem truly happy; though there was that same emptiness that was always present in his eyes. “No, I'm not worried about any of that. Unless you'd like to permanently stay in my shed.” he joked, his laughter sending a chill up Miles' spine. “I know you, baby. You may resent me, but you'll never stop loving me. As for being honest, I just don't see any point in lying; I've got no reason to hide anything anymore, do I? You're not going anywhere. You never will, unless I decide you are.”  
  
Miles sat quietly, unsure of what else to say. He felt a tidal wave of emotions, and he really wanted nothing more than to be alone. He stood abruptly, pulling his hand out from Alex's grasp and reaching for the cigarettes on the table. “I need some air and time to think, I'm gonna go sit on the porch.”  
  
He watched as Alex opened his mouth to protest, though cut him off before he could. “I'm not gonna do anything, I'm gonna sit my ass down on the porch and stay there. You can stand at the bloody window and watch me if you must.”  
  
Alex tilted his head, watching Miles like a hawk as the Scouser slid the cigarettes and a lighter into his pocket. He grabbed a blue leather jacket that belonged to Alex and slipped it on, not bothering to look back as he flicked on the outside light and walked out the door, shutting it behind himself. He sat on the top step and dropped his head into his hands, his nails scratching at his scalp. It was beyond heartbreaking for the person you thought you loved most to tell you that you're meaningless to them. Despite everything fucked up and wrong about Alex and their so called relationship, it still hurt like hell to hear. He almost wished Alex did at least feel something towards him, but it would never be. He wanted to understand what exactly Alex was trying to say about himself, though it was a difficult concept to wrap his head around. Alex didn't feel any emotions? Or if he did, they never lasted long. It was all so confusing.  
  
He pulled the packet out of his pocket; lighting his cigarette and inhaling, the burning in his lungs beginning to soothe him. He wondered if Alex really was watching from the window; though he wouldn't give the other man the satisfaction of turning around to look. He stared off into the darkness surrounding him as he took another hit. He almost let out a groan as he heard the door being opened, though he made sure not to say anything. Instead, he slid over to make room, and even wordlessly passed off his cigarette.  
  
Neither of them said anything for awhile, instead taking the opportunity to admire the stars. Miles couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic for the first time they did this; that night at Jay's party. Alex came off way too strong even then, and he thought back to all the little signals in his head that tried to tell him so. He wished he could somehow force himself to remove that faint rosy glow around the memory, but not even reminding himself that Alex stalked him there took it away. Not even remembering that Alex originally intended to murder him that night. Maybe he'd always try to find something good inside of Alex; despite being shown nothing but ugliness.  
  
“Do you really wanna know why, Miles?” Alex asked suddenly, breaking the silence between them.  
  
Miles glanced at the Northerner out of the corner of his eye; twisting his hands together in his lap as he contemplated. He already felt void on the inside, he doubted knowing the inner workings of Alex's wicked ways would change much of that. “Yeah, I do.” he decided.  
  
Alex nodded; stubbing the cigarette out on the wooden step before tossing it aside. He turned to face Miles, a small smile playing on his lips as he said, “Because I can.”  
  
Miles waited for Alex to elaborate; but it never happened. He shook his head out of minor frustration. “What? That's it?!”  
  
Alex laughed under his breath; reaching out and brushing the hair out of Miles' eyes and making him freeze. “Alright, baby. I was gonna try and be nice and spare you the er... gory details; but if you want them, I'll tell you.”  
  
“I do it because I like it. Like I said the other day, it's thrilling. I would probably compare it to a high; it gives me a rush. That's probably the closest thing to real happiness that I ever feel. God, it excites the hell out of me, Miles; I don't think it could ever become boring. Though, the methods have. My first kill was nothing spectacular; I just shot her and that was it. But that grew old fast. I needed more; I needed to make that high last.”  
  
Miles didn't move as Alex spoke, he barely even breathed. He didn't understand how Alex could talk about this so casually, as though what he did was a perfectly normal thing to do. Hell, he seemed as though he truly enjoyed discussing it; which only made Miles feel as though his insides were twisting in revulsion. Still, he wanted the truth, and so nodded encouragingly when Alex paused to look at him.  
  
“Well, I started strangling them after that, which was better. More contact, and I liked watching their eyes as it happened. You can see the life literally being sucked out of someone doing that. But... I wanted blood. I wanted it messy; and to see how long someone was capable of hanging on. So I started using a knife, and that's what I've grown to prefer. You can stab someone in just the right places to make them helpless, yet they're still alive well afterwards. I especially like the ones who writhe and try to reason with me. Each one always thinks they're somehow gonna be the one that manages to escape. But it never happens.”  
  
Alex shifted slightly, leaning in a bit closer to Miles as his fingers moved up and down the other man's spine. It made Miles want to throw up.  
  
“Sometimes I start dismembering them while they're still alive; it really depends on the setting. The mood's gotta be right.” he said, snickering to himself as his fingers slid underneath the back of Miles' shirt. “It's just easier to get rid of them when they're in pieces like that, you know? Also harder for the cops to figure anything out. Though most of them are right back there.” he said, gesturing towards the back of the house. Miles began to tremble beneath Alex's touch.  
  
Alex noticed it, and so pressed his forehead against the side of Miles' head; murmuring into his ear as he continued to stroke Miles' warm skin. “Does that scare you, baby? Don't worry, the ghosts aren't gonna get you.”  
  
“Does it happen back there?” Miles asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He felt Alex smile against his cheek.  
  
“Sometimes, yeah. But usually they're already dead and I just dump them there. If it makes you feel any better, I haven't killed anyone here since you moved in. Too risky. I have cut them up, though.”  
  
Miles wasn't sure what to do with any of this information. All he really wanted to do was take off screaming and running for his life. He knew that would just end things quicker for him though. He let Alex wrap his arms around him and start kissing his neck; as though talking about this was some kind of twisted foreplay. He couldn't help but let the one question he'd been dreading the answer to most slip out of his mouth.  
  
“Don't you ever feel bad about it? Or at least realize that it's wrong?”  
  
Alex pulled his mouth away and rested his chin on Miles' shoulder. He could feel Alex staring at him as he responded.  
  
“No, I don't. I know it's wrong, I just don't care. My satisfaction is more important to me than their pain.” he said. So cold; so matter of fact. Miles fought back tears as Alex resumed kissing his neck, which soon turned to biting. He knew exactly where this was leading, and so he tried to numb himself from it.  
  
“Want you.” Alex mumbled under his breath, sliding one of his hands down to the front of Miles' pants and starting to rub. “Want you on your hands and knees for me.”  
  
Despite the overwhelming nauseous feeling taking over his body, he turned to face Alex and kissed him quickly, nodding his head in agreement. He really didn't have a choice anymore, he knew he had to obey. He felt sick from the way Alex smiled at him; from the soft, pleased little coo that escaped from his mouth. He wasn't able to fathom how anyone could be so dysfunctional; so out of touch with reality that they would think any of this was alright. That they were entitled to it, even.  
  
He tried to swallow the lump in his throat as Alex stood up and motioned for him to follow.  
  
\-------------  
  
Miles laid as close as he could to the edge of the bed without falling off, feeling somber as he felt Alex rustling the sheets around. He had his back turned towards the other man, he couldn't bear to look into those soulless eyes anymore. He bit his inner cheek once the tears started to fall, hoping that he could hide them from Alex. He pressed his face into his pillow and wept silently  
  
He felt Alex getting up out of the bed, and also didn't fail to notice the way he scoffed to himself as he did. He saw Miles crying, surely. For once, he didn't even want to be comforted, he just wanted to cry until he fell asleep. He heard what sounded like Alex putting his clothes back on, including his belt buckle. His body shook as he let out a more forceful sob.  
  
“For fuck's sake Miles, do you always have to be such a bloody crybaby all the time? I swear that's all you ever do. I only fucked you, it's not like I beat you up. Always so fucking dramatic and carrying on.”  
  
Miles didn't try to defend himself, he knew Alex wouldn't understand anyway. How he felt so broken down, so trapped. He felt as though he was raped; he knew he never audibly said no, but he conveyed it in his body language. Alex just chose to ignore it, or simply didn't care. He knew it was most likely the latter, and the realization brought on a fresh set of tears. Alex was selfish, greedy; and he couldn't care less who he hurt to get what he wanted. Miles was finally aware of that, and now he had to pay the price for not getting out when he was able to. It was forced sex or his life; he was quite certain about that.  
  
“I'm leaving, I'll be back by morning.” Alex said, walking over to where Miles was curled up into a ball. Miles felt him staring down at his shrunken figure for a moment before speaking again. “Oh, wait. I'll be back.” He walked out of the room, leaving Miles by himself. His throat was bone dry, and so he slowly pushed himself up and out of the bed. He wiped his eyes as he walked down the hallway and into the kitchen, though stopped when he saw Alex already there. He managed to catch Alex dropping something into a glass of whiskey before picking it up and swirling the liquid around.  
  
“What are you doing?” Miles asked, wrapping his arms around his waist as he stepped further in.  
  
Alex jumped, obviously startled by the other man's presence. He smiled sweetly as he tapped the side of the glass in his hand. “I was just making you a drink, baby. I'm sure you're thirsty.”  
  
“What did you just put in it?” Miles said, backing up a bit as Alex came closer.  
Alex looked down at the drink, then back up at Miles. “Just something to help you sleep, that's all. Come on, let me put you to bed and-”  
  
“You're drugging me!” Miles shrieked, his heart racing as he stared in complete disbelief. Suddenly it all hit him; why there had been times when he slept for almost an entire day. Why he could barely remember anything surrounding those periods. Alex had been slipping something into his drinks to make him unconscious; and that's why he could never hear anything happening outside.  
  
Alex sighed, looking annoyed with Miles' outburst. “It's fine, you've had it before and you're still alive, aren't you?”  
  
“That's not the point, Alex! How could you do that?! Christ, what are you doing to me when I'm like that, huh?” Miles shouted, his body shaking as he felt the sweat on his body go cold.  
  
“Oh fuck off, I'm not doing anything to you other than putting you in bed. It's for your own good anyway.” Alex said, rolling his eyes and swirling the drink once more.  
  
Miles stared at the drink, biting his lip as he considered the situation. He knew in a odd way that Alex was right, this really was for his own good. He knew he couldn't stop Alex from what he was about to go out and do, and he certainly didn't want to overhear any of it.  
  
“It's just a barbiturate. Not enough to make you overdose, but enough to put you in a nice, deep sleep.” Alex said, trying his best to put Miles at ease, though failing miserably. “I think you're well aware of what your other option is, so if you know what's good for you, you'll shut up and drink the fucking whiskey. Unless you wanna hear all the dirty work, that is. I don't mind, baby. You could even come watch if you wanted to.”  
  
Miles' eyes widened in horror, shaking his head furiously at the thought of it. He almost couldn't believe the way Alex actually looked a bit disappointed by his rejection. “Fine, then drink.” he said, holding the glass out towards the other man.  
  
Miles took it slowly, looking down at the amber liquid before peering back up at Alex. He blew out his breath and swallowed it all as fast as he could. He just wanted to get it over with. At least he would be able to spend some time in his imaginary world.  
  
Alex took back the glass and set it on the table, smiling as he reached out and dragged his thumb over Miles' lips. “There you go. Not so bad, eh?”  
  
Miles shook his head, blinking slowly as he leaned into Alex's body for support. Alex bent down and grabbed onto Miles; holding him bridal style as he walked them both back into the bedroom. He gently laid Miles out on the bed; grabbing the sheets and pulling them over Miles' body. He walked around the room, switching off all the lights and turning on the radio.  
  
“There you go, love. You'll be alright, and I'll see you whenever you wake up, yeah?” Alex said, leaning in to kiss Miles' forehead. “Get some rest, baby.”  
  
Miles' eyes began to droop shut, his body tingling as Alex slipped out of the room and shut the door. He felt like he was losing all control of his body, his mind going blank as he eventually gave into the heaviness in his eyelids. His breathing evened out as he slowly slipped away to somewhere better; the faint sound of music playing in the background filling his ears as he drifted off.  
  
_'One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you...' _  
__


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to the grocery store turns into something a bit darker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy I don't know if anybody still cares about this fic lmao but here's another chapter finally I'm sorry about how shitty I am at updating.
> 
> Enjoy!

As the months went by, Miles slowly felt himself become numb to all of his surroundings. He kept Alex's words at the forefront of his mind; that he was nothing more than a pet. He tried to stay hidden most of the time, and whenever they were in the room together, he remained as quiet as possible. Sometimes Alex coaxed conversation out of him, and Miles always got a little bit of a thrill whenever he did. It was a slap in the face when his existence was ignored. He just desperately wanted Alex's attention, and felt himself sink lower when he didn't receive it. He supposed Alex was right; he really was pathetic.  
  
He didn't put up a fight whenever Alex wanted sex, and instead wordlessly gave up control of his own body each time. Any limits he may have had before were gone entirely; Alex could do anything he wanted with no resistance. It all felt mechanical to Miles, and Alex's rough treatment became borderline abusive. It was nothing like it used to be, though deep down Miles knew that everything before wasn't real. This was what Alex really liked; complete submission and humiliation. He tried not to let it rattle him too much.  
  
Miles almost felt perverted for trying to put on a show for the other man; faking his way through moans and whispered pleas for more. For always pulling Alex's hair and rolling his eyes back; as though he truly enjoyed the way his body was being used. He was too scared to become boring; to not be exciting to Alex anymore. He didn't know what exactly would happen if he did, but he couldn't help but imagine it being a violent end.  
  
“Miles!”  
  
He blinked slowly, and Alex's face came into focus above him. He said nothing, only turned his head as he waited for more.  
  
“I said your name three times just now, what the hell is with you? You've been so strange lately, I almost miss when you used to talk my ear off, which is quite remarkable.”  
  
Miles shrugged, lowering his gaze to the floor as he ran his finger across the cloth of the couch. His body remained limp as Alex sighed, crouching down so that the two of them were face to face. “I'm going to the market to pick up a few things. Would you like to join me?”  
  
Miles made eye contact at that, looking over Alex's face carefully to insure it was a serious offer. He hadn't been allowed to leave the house in nearly four months, it was beginning to make his skin crawl. He smiled faintly, nodding his head as he slowly sat himself up. Alex stood, holding his hand out so that Miles could get off the couch. “Now, you're getting to go because you've been good, so you better not do anything that will fuck it up for you. Understand?”  
  
Miles quickly agreed, throwing his arms around Alex's neck and kissing his cheek. He felt an overwhelming amount of gratitude for being allowed out, he missed what it was like to be around people. Alex's body remained stiff for a moment, seemingly surprised by Miles' sudden burst of affection. He eventually wrapped his arms around Miles' torso, his hair brushing against the Scouser's cheek as he leaned in to kiss Miles' jaw. He had a slight smile on his face when they pulled back. “What was that about?”  
  
Miles shrugged, he really didn't know himself, if he was honest. Still, he wanted to keep the positive vibe between the two of them going, and so reached out to gently squeeze Alex's hand as he said, “I just love you.”  
  
Alex stilled, his eyes narrowing suspiciously, though he quickly shook his head and smiled sweetly. “Well, that's so lovely to hear, baby... Come on now, I wanna be back before dark.”  
  
\-----  
  
Miles had his window rolled down despite the chilly air, feeling a brief moment of happiness within himself. The sun was shining down on him, and he slid his hand out to feel the wind against his skin. He waved his fingers in the air as his eyes closed, a small smile on his face as he hummed along to the radio. He felt like a bird that was finally released from it's cage; he only wished he had the ability to fly far away and never look back.  
  
“Quit acting like a child, Miles. Get your hand back inside the car.” Alex scolded, effectively crushing Miles' fantasy and dragging him back into reality. He nodded sheepishly, pulling his hand back inside before knotting his fingers together in his lap. He stared down at the floor as strands of his hair brushed over his face and into his eyes. He didn't try and push them back, he wasn't sure if he should even move.  
  
They both were quiet for a moment, before Miles softly asked, “Have you ever thought of naming your car?”  
  
Alex glanced Miles' way, scoffing as he shook his head. “Why would I do something like that? Cars are inanimate, they don't need names.”  
  
“Well, no; but it's still kind of funny if you think about it. Like how people name boats and refer to them as women... Thar she blows!” Miles exclaimed, trying his best to imitate a pirate. He knew he sounded absurd, but he desperately needed to lighten the mood somehow.  
  
Alex seemed unmoved, though Miles finally managed to catch a hint of a smile on the other man's face. “I suppose you do make quite the convincing argument... Floyd, I think.”  
  
Miles' scrunched his nose up at the name, though knew better than to verbally ridicule it. “Why Floyd?”  
  
“Dunno, I just like that name.” Alex replied, shrugging his shoulders as his facial expression went cold once again.  
  
“I guess now I know what you'd name your kid if you had one.”  
  
Alex laughed at that, low and gravelly as he shook his head. “I highly doubt you want another me running around. Unless you're hiding a masochistic side, eh?” he said, chuckling again as he pulled into the grocery store parking lot. Miles couldn't imagine a child acting anything like Alex, they were too innocent and pure. He was quick to remind himself that Alex was once a child, and was quite a heinous one at that.  
  
“Now, promise me you'll be good, sweetheart.” Alex purred, reaching over and tucking loose strands of hair behind Miles' ear. Miles hesitated before leaning into the touch, ignoring the little voice in his head screaming that this sudden affection was only manipulation in disguise. Still, he couldn't help but play along.  
  
“Yes, Al; I promise.”  
  
Alex hummed, quickly glancing around them before kissing Miles' temple. “Then let's go, shall we? Stay by my side.”  
  
Miles scrambled to get out of the car, eager to be around people for the first time in awhile. He was sure to obey Alex's orders and kept close by, though his eyes were scanning over his surroundings. He almost stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed a police station across the street. His heart began pounding as thoughts of escape raced through his brain. It could be so simple, all he had to do was run. His hand brushed across Alex's, a subtle reminder of what exactly he was up against if he tried to leave. He blew out a breath and looked away, his gaze focusing on the fluorescent store sign.  
  
“Stay close to me.” Alex reminded him, speaking so soft and low that it gave Miles goosebumps. It used to thrill him, would make his heart race in anticipation; though now it only made him want to recoil in fear. He nodded, forcing a smile as they stepped inside the grocery store. Alex grabbed a cart and lead them further in, his dark eyes darting towards Miles every few seconds to ensure he was still nearby. It really wasn't necessary, Miles wouldn't dare to try and run away from him. He watched as Alex carefully placed things in the cart, his brow furrowed as though he was going over a checklist inside his head.  
  
“Al? Can we get some strawberries?” Miles asked suddenly, batting his lashes and smiling over at the other man.  
  
Alex raised an brow out of curiosity, though quickly shrugged and turned back to the display of crisps. “I don't care, Miles. Yes.”  
  
Miles didn't let Alex's irritability get to him, instead walking off towards the fruit display a few feet in front of them. He was quickly brought to a halt when he felt Alex's hand snaking around his wrist.  
  
“Where are you going?” Alex hissed, his grip tightening. Miles smiled timidly, deciding to flirt to try and both get his way and subdue Alex's impending anger. “I'm only going to get strawberries, Aly. They're just over there...” he looked around to make sure nobody was nearby before whispering into Alex's ear, “You can watch my arse as I walk; wouldn't you like that, baby?”  
  
Alex twisted his mouth in thought, as though he was about to make a life changing decision. Miles knew he won with the way Alex's eyes hungrily scanned up and down his body, along with the hold on his wrist loosening. “Fine; but I'm watching you.” he finally said, his scowl turning into a smirk as Miles leaned in and replied, “Better be.”  
  
He made sure to exaggerate the sway of his hips as he sauntered towards the fruit, feeling ridiculous as he did. He still savored the brief feeling of freedom as he picked the package that looked best to him, examining it before turning back towards Alex. He jumped when he saw that the Northerner was already right behind him, watching eagerly as he placed the berries into the cart.  
  
“You're almost making me wanna be boring tonight and just eat food off of your body.” Alex teased.  
  
Miles quickly blushed from the remark, though wasn't sure why, he'd heard much more vulgar things coming out of Alex's mouth before. It almost felt normal, sweetly domestic. This was how they could always be, if Alex just... Wasn't the way he was. Miles sighed, ignoring the sadness beginning to creep up inside of him as he ran his fingers through Alex's hair. “You can do anything you want with me. I'm yours.”  
  
Alex beamed at that, clearly thrilled by Miles' subservient admissions. He allowed Miles to stand closer to him afterward, and showered him in brief moments of affection whenever they were sure no one was watching. It made Miles feel truly in love with Alex again, though he hated himself for it. He knew it wasn't genuine, and that he was a fool for buying into the act time after time, but he couldn't help himself. He felt like Alex was an addiction, and he had to keep coming back for more no matter what damage it did to him. He also knew that this was exactly what the Northerner wanted. If only he could wipe out any early memories of their relationship; if he could stop thinking of how things were or could have been.  
  
The pair had finally made their way throughout the entire store, and went to wait in line to be checked out. Alex laid his arms out across the cart basket and lowered his head, and Miles could tell that he was stretching his back. He resisted the urge to reach out and run his fingers down the other's spine, instead looking towards the lady in front of them. The woman quickly scooped up all the groceries out of her shopping cart, dumping them onto the conveyor belt as she shook her head. “I need to get home soon, it's starting to get dark and I just can't stand to be alone at night anymore.” she said to the cashier, who nodded solemnly in response.  
  
“I know, I always have my father take me to and from work. It's scary out there knowing that murderer is still on the loose. What a bloody lunatic!”  
  
Alex's head snapped up then, in the same moment that Miles froze in horror.  
  
“I just don't understand how he hasn't been caught yet, I read the other day that the police have evidence of over 30 murders committed during the past two years. How can that be? And that's just the ones they know about. He needs to be found and put to death so he can go to hell where he belongs.”  
  
Miles gripped onto the cart, his body beginning to tremble as the words being said around him started to fade out. He felt his stomach somersault when he noticed the amused smile playing on the corner of Alex's lips, at the obvious delight in his eyes upon hearing the two women speak. Miles watched silently as the cashier helped load the customer's groceries back into her cart, wondering what they would say if only they knew what was standing right behind them.  
  
Alex was humming as he placed items onto the belt, only looking up to flash the cashier one of the gut wrenching smiles that used to make Miles' heart skip beats. He could tell from the poor girl's reaction that she was currently in a similar state. He stared absentmindedly as Alex turned his charmer notches up on high to shamelessly flirt with the cashier right in front of him, even glancing over at Miles every now and then and smirking mischievously. He could honestly say that he didn't even feel jealous over the display, only uncomfortable and sickened.  
  
He gave the girl a sad smile as they finally walked out of the checkout lane, though she was much too busy focusing on Alex to notice. Miles sighed and followed behind the other man, staring down at the ground and watching as the floor tiles began to blur. He just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for days, he never wanted to see or think or feel again.  
  
The streetlights flickered on as they walked back to the car together, and Miles pretended to listen to Alex as he raved about how exciting it was to hear strangers talking about him. He waited as the other man opened up the trunk and began filling it with their bags, chatting animatedly all throughout; though Miles comprehended nothing but white noise. He dared to glance back over at the police station across the street, his eyes fixating on the glass doorway as though he suddenly couldn't focus on anything else.  
  
He began to run towards the building before he noticed that he was even doing it. The cold air pierced his face as he gasped for breath, his adrenaline kicking into overdrive as he began to make his way closer to freedom. He felt tears prickling his eyes out of fear or relief, most likely a combination of both. He couldn't be sure. The seconds felt like hours as he finally approached the police station; nearly falling over as he leaped onto the first step inside.  
  
He hissed in pain as he felt something hard hitting against the side of his face, making him collapse to the ground as everything surrounding him went black.  
  
\------  
  
Miles groaned as he woke up, the pain in his head a dull throb as he tried to stretch out his arms, though was cut off by his fist soon hitting against something. He slowly cracked an eye open, though was unable to see anything other than darkness. He could tell he was moving, he still felt as though he was in the car. He slid his hand across his face, wondering if maybe he was blindfolded, though quickly determined that he was not. His body tensed as he heard the crinkling of a paper bag, and he shrieked in horror as he realized that he was trapped inside the trunk of Alex's car.  
  
He began to frantically scream Alex's name as he clawed at the trunk door, hoping that luck would be on his side and it would magically pop open. He sobbed when it remained tightly shut; his breath becoming labored as he started to panic. He couldn't even figure out why he tried to run in the first place, he knew it was hopeless. He tried to wriggle around inside the tight space, his legs were beginning to cramp from his current position. He noted that the car was shaking, bringing him to think they were almost home. He wasn't sure if he was happy or terrified at the thought.  
  
The car came to a stop moments later, and Miles noted the sound of the engine shutting off. He held his breath as he heard a door creaking open, then slammed shut soon after. His body shook as he waited for what would come next; squeezing his eyes closed as he tried to steady his breathing. He heard keys jingling, and winced when they were inserted into the keyhole of the trunk. He tried his best to curl into a ball; a desperate attempt to try and pretend like none of this was happening.  
  
The door suddenly popped open, and Miles immediately tensed. The seconds were agonizing as he waited for whatever punishment was in store for him, and a chill ran up his spine from the way Alex quietly commanded to him.  
  
“Get up.”  
  
Miles reluctantly opened his eyes, peering up and seeing nothing more than Alex's figure in the darkness. He slowly pushed himself up onto his knees, his back hitting against the trunk door as he inched a leg out towards the ground. He felt weak and exhausted, he wasn't sure if he could even support his own weight. With a heavy sigh he lowered his leg further down until he felt dirt beneath his foot; and he reached out to hold onto the side of the car for balance. It was soon apparent that he wasn't moving fast enough when Alex gripped onto his arm and tugged him out of the trunk; causing Miles to fall to the ground at the other man's feet.  
  
“I said get up!”  
  
Miles felt his face scraping against rocks as he tried to lift his head up, his eyelids growing heavier as he looked up at Alex. He couldn't make out the Northerner's facial expression, though he really didn't have to to know that he was furious. Despite how he was feeling physically, he managed to push himself up onto his feet, making him be at eye level with the other man.  
  
“Go inside. Now.”  
  
Miles wasted no time in following his order, dragging his feet across the ground as he stared at the house in front of him. He wondered if maybe he was going to end up beneath the floorboards in the shed by dawn. He couldn't say that the thought was beginning to sound quite appealing to him; it had to be better than this.  
  
He quickly flung the door open and hurried inside, standing still in the middle of the living room as he warily waited for what was to come.  
  
Alex flicked the overhead light on as he shut the door, making Miles squint his eyes as he tried to allow his vision to adjust. He blinked slowly and attempted to avoid any kind of contact with the other man, though that didn't last long.  
  
“You're so bloody stupid, you know that?” Alex said, circling closer to Miles as he spoke. “Do you have any idea what you would've done if you made it inside? I would have to leave you, Miles. You don't want that, do you?” he asked, standing in front of the Scouser as he waited for a response.  
  
Miles remained quiet, he didn't have any answers to give and he was much too mentally drained to care about any repercussions for his silence. His refusal to speak only fueled Alex's anger, and in a fit of rage Miles suddenly felt the other man's fist colliding against his eye socket. The force of the blow caused Miles to collapse to the floor once again, where he laid unmoving. He could feel where Alex's pinky ring cut open his skin, causing blood to slowly drip down his face. He winced as Alex kicked him in the ribs.  
  
“You're fucking worthless, Miles. Won't even speak to me, eh?”  
  
Miles closed his eyes and shook his head, he couldn't being himself to put up any kind of fight. He whimpered as Alex pressed the heel of his boot into his chest, gradually applying more and more pressure until Miles could barely breathe. “Go to the bedroom. Now.”  
  
Alex lifted his leg up so that Miles could gasp for air, his eyes watering as the pain he felt in his body hit him all at once. He didn't think he could move if he even tried, and so laid helplessly and hoped the other man would show him a shred of sympathy, but to no avail.  
  
“Fine, if you won't go yourself, I'll fucking force you to.” Alex snarled as he twisted strands of Miles' hair around his fingers. With that, he yanked Miles' head up so hard that he yelped, his scalp burning as the Northerner began to drag him towards their bedroom. Miles screeched and cried out in pain, begging for Alex to stop, though his cries went ignored. He reached up and grasped onto Alex's wrist, digging his nails in as deep as he could manage. Alex finally let go of Miles' hair, much to his relief, and despite the humiliation he knew it'd bring, he resorted to crawling the rest of the way.  
  
“You look good like that... I like it when you do what I want.” Alex said, and Miles tried not to laugh. It's not like he ever had a choice in the matter, he had to.  
  
He breathed a sigh of relief as they reached the bedroom, moving over towards the side of the bed and leaning against it for support. It didn't take long for Alex to grab him by the arm and pull him up onto it as Miles cried out in pain.  
  
“I suppose this is all my fault, I should never have let you out of the house. But then again, you should have known better, isn't that right?”  
  
Miles slowly shook his head yes, his body sinking into the bed as Alex gave a seemingly satisfied nod. He watched as Alex crossed the room and over to his side of the bed. He opened his bedside drawer and began digging around, smiling triumphantly as he pulled out a pair of handcuffs. Miles raised his eyebrow in curiosity, surely Alex wasn't going to try and have sex right at this moment, was he? No, no he would. Miles thought better of that, and he was quick to physically recoil at the thought.  
  
“Don't be scared, baby. I'm just gonna make sure you can never try and leave again.” Alex cooed, as though he was trying to be soothing. With that, he walked up to Miles and grabbed him by his right wrist. Before Miles knew it, he was handcuffed to their bed. He squirmed as Alex laughed softly and began petting at his hair. “You're not to be trusted anymore, love; so this is how you'll have to be from now on. You shouldn't have been such a disobedient boy earlier.”  
  
Miles pulled at the cuff a few times before sighing in defeat. He decided to simply accept the fact that no matter what he did, he would always be trapped here. Alex leaned in and kissed his temple with such a strange hint of tenderness that it almost made Miles want to question it, but he knew better than to do that. He leaned into the touch of Alex's lips, though this time out of obligation rather than a desire for contact. He just wanted to be left alone. As if Alex could read his mind, he suddenly stood up and smoothed out the front of his t shirt.  
  
“I'm going to go meet that girl from the grocery store, I'll clean you up when I get back.” he announced as he walked over towards the closet so he could dig through his various jackets. Miles stared down at the floor as he tried to wrap his head around the entire evening. He couldn't wait for Alex to leave, it meant he could finally have a bit of peace.  
  
Alex shut the closet door before turning back towards Miles. “Don't worry baby, I'll be... Faithful. I still want you, but after I get back, yeah? I'm hungry for something else right now, you know?” he said with a laugh.  
  
Miles remained silent for a moment before finally asking something he'd been wondering for such a long time. “Why won't you just kill me?”  
  
Alex paused at that, visibly surprised by the question. He recovered quickly, and ran a hand through his hair as he replied, “Because that's what you want me to do.”  
  
Miles looked over at him, his brow furrowing as Alex laughed softly and sat back down beside him. “I've no interest in killing if the person isn't scared to die, that takes all the fun out of it. You're scared to live, so that's what I want. It's thrilling and quite fascinating; I know you want to absolutely despise me, yet you're too madly in love with me... I suppose maybe I wanna see how far you let me push you.”  
  
“I hate that I love you.” Miles muttered.  
  
Alex smiled, shaking his head so that his hair fell into his eyes. It almost made him look endearing. “And I love that you love me.”  
  
“Is that what this has always been about? You getting an ego trip over me loving you because you manipulated me into it?” Miles asked, no longer worrying about whether or not his words or actions might trigger Alex's anger.  
  
Alex raised his eyebrows, though he didn't appear upset by the statement. “Well... Yes. That and you're not quite how I thought you'd be. You surprise me sometimes. I hate it mostly but I also like the excitement it brings me... You surprised me today; I never dreamed you'd have the guts to try and get away.”  
  
“Did you like that?”  
  
Alex shook his head. “No. Not at the time. But I think maybe I do here, at least now that you're trapped... I like when you're in my bed.”  
  
Miles wasn't sure how to respond to that, instead he yawned and tried not to let his eyes droop shut. He could feel Alex watching him as he tried to get himself comfortable, or at least as comfortable as he could be given his current situation. He felt Alex get up off the bed, and was surprised when he was suddenly surrounded by a blanket. He couldn't remember the last time Alex had tucked him in like this, it made the night fractionally better.  
  
“Sleep, baby. I'll wake you when I get back.” Alex whispered, indulging Miles with one more kiss before he quietly slipped out of the room.  
  
Miles tried his best to ignore the way the handcuff cut into his skin as he slowly drifted into a restless sleep.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Find me over on [tumblr](http://prettyvisitorsinthebakery.tumblr.com)!


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